Where does time go?

Hello from the other side.  The other side of 25,000 words that is.

It's been a strange week for me - 

1. I've had The Kid with a blood filled mouth and bleeding nose after falling on the floor and impaling his lower lip with three top teeth, his upper gum with two lower teeth and bashing his nose all at the same time (and yes, I panicked. A lot.); 
   
2. I've said "Ta-ra 'til the New Year" to my Mummy dearest, who's off to play the campest Evil Queen Snow White will ever have come across in Pantoland;   
   
3. I've cleared up little pools of sick, after The Cat ate one of The Kid's errant grapes (I think) ; 
   
4. I've cleared up so many leaves from the Tenacious Towers' grounds I am beginning to think they breed on the floor of the vast orchard; 
   
5. I've been shocked at how much Anton du Beke is gradually morphing into Brucie;  
   
6. I've been avidly watching our graciously returned Sky 1 (that didn't take too long did it Virgin..?) in the vain hope that something else other than 'Ross Kemp on Everything' will be on.

But just for a laugh, I've also partaken in that old game "half fall/half slide down the stairs" whilst rushing to grab The Kid's teddy for cuddles.

On the up side, I didn't fall completely as I had grabbed onto the bannister; on the down side, I grabbed with the arm that had previously been privy to a dislocated shoulder so writing has been interesting.  I also crushed two toes on one of the spindley thingies. Ouch. Obviously, my utter silence as I limped down the stairs spoke louder than any words, as The Kid said "Uh-oh" and pulled out the chenille throw which is reserved for cold winter nights, illness and /or injury cuddles.  In amongst all this madness and mayhem, I have of course be slotting in keyboard hammering flashes, where I sit talking to myself like a demented mad woman, and create NaNoWriMo stylee.

Having now passed 36,000 words, I am onto the fourth (and final) part of "Taking the Fast Lane", which seems incredible - not the novel, but just the feat!  It's been a fascinating journey to sit down with nothing and create something.  Obviously still being at least 14,000 words off, I am hoping it won't be too rough a ride.  The whole NaNoWriMo experience so far has been brilliant  and has been made even better by the Pep Talk emails we receive. So far we've had wise words from Philip Pullman, Jonathan Stroud, Katherine Paterson, Meg Cabot and many from NaNoWriMo founder, Chris Baty at HQ.  If you are interested in reading any of the pep talks they are available online here.

I was also able to breathe a sigh of relief on Friday when a fairly hefty envelope from Screen East plopped in the letter box advising me (one envelope, four separate letters inside) that each of my screenplays had been received and logged.  I had started to panic a bit as four Royal Mail bags full of post had been found abandoned in a field in my area - and of course I had convinced myself my screenplays were in there...the acknowledgement letters weren't due until Friday, but I had nonetheless convinced myself my creations were being sifted by CID for prints.  Or something.

Anyway, if I get short listed for an interview then I should know early December.  If I am successful after the interview, it'll be a great Christmas, I tell you.  

Right, before cracking on with a few more pages of the novel, I'm off to see who out of the "Celebrity" jungle inmates, has had the most surgery.  Hmmm. Let me think....

I am loving the Red London Bus - it must have been dumped there after the closing ceremony in Beijing.

Onwards.

Working 9 til 5...I wish

And breathe.

A whirlwind of occurrences, that's the life I lead.  Well, only sometimes these days, anyway.

The week went something like this:

Monday - The Kid was still not very well having just parted company with a sicky, coldy bug but still managed to soldier on through his 8 month check up with The Health Visitor.  He smiled at all the right things, burped loudly followed by a bellow of giggles, frowned when The Health Visitor tickled him under the chin, bobbed up and down to imaginary music and clapped on demand, and then when he got bored he chewed his shoe and farted. I then dropped him off at nursery whilst I headed home to try and get some work done.  It's amazing when you are writing how quickly nursery/school pick up time comes round...6 pages written; 9 calls made; 7 emails responded to.

Tuesday - The Kid took a backwards step in his recovery.  All plans - blown out.  Spent day with ass hovering over sofa, wishing I could just sit down for two seconds without mopping up snot, puke or rocking back and forth...0 pages written; 0 calls made; 0 emails read let alone responded to.

Wednesday - The Kid made a fantastically remarkable recovery and had so much energy all day I bit the bullet and decided to take him to his swimming class.  After a hard hour in the gym I dashed home to make a few calls whilst my Mum was still enthralled with her Grandson.  Perfick...0 pages written; 4 calls made; all emails read; 1 child knackered after a hard swim.

Thursday - first of all, thanks must go to the most courteous Mark for organising another little Blogette/Facebook get-together.  Yet again, a  very enjoyable afternoon which - horror of horrors - turned into an early evening minus child for me.  My system was so shocked by the lack of The Kid's bathtime "splash-splash", the fight to get him into his sleep suit afterwards and then the gentle prodding to keep him awake for his bottle, that I felt the need to consume more than my original 'just the one'...3 new chapters outlined; 5 calls made; 2 meetings attended; 1 social gathering attended; email read & responded to; 1 very odd journey home having laughed out [very] loud at my book on many occasions and then realising I wasn't the only person in the carriage. :0)

Friday - The Kid's music class and this week he emerged as star pupil due to his innate ability to 'bop' like a home boy whilst clapping furiously and, for the most part, totally in time to the music.  He was so immersed in the class that he only twice realised I was sitting beside him on the floor.  If I'd only thought to take MacBook with me I could have done a bit of writing. The only foot stomping occurred when the bubbles stopped and apparently the teacher felt so awful looking at his big, sad eyes, she carried on with the bubbles for a while longer, just for him.  I fear a future actor and/or muso in the making.  Either that or a Dictator...3 pages written (somehow); 0 calls made; all email read; 1 very proud mum.

Saturday - Amidst all the very tedious household stuff that has to be undertaken every weekend, I noted that Zone Horror have "Cut! The 2008 Horror Short Film Competition" running.  This is sponsored by C4's Fright Fest  and is worth up to £5k in winnings for a 2 minute film.  Closing date for entries is Friday 13th (!) June 2008 - so all you genre-istas out there - get going!  0 pages written; 2 chapters outlined; 0 calls made; 0 emails answered; 1 very domesticated-out mum.

Sunday - hasn't passed yet.  Anything could happen...may check emails.

And breathe.

My goodness...

I have tried my hardest - and usually failed - to keep up to date with everyone else's blogs, but from what I have read, it looks like everyone has been really busy in cyberscribospace. I deeply apologise for the extreme lack of updates from this end. I am still alive - I think.

It's been manic. A learning curve. A waking nightmare. A total headf***. But he's gorgeous all the same. However, I have discovered the perils of having a baby - he has a social diary like I have never, ever had myself:

Monday - 'rest day' [i.e. yoga with Mummy, playmat with Mummy, singing with Mummy, repeatedly making silly noises with Mummy, sensory book time with Mummy, shopping with Mummy, cleaning with Mummy, hanging out the washing with Mummy, gardening with Mummy, "This Morning" with Phillip & Fern (and Mummy).]
Tuesday - Massage class (Baby Massage, of course)
Wednesday - Swimming class
Thursday - ante-natal mates coffee & cakes/general moan session/babies all cry together etc
Friday - Music class

Other times are taken up with the 'rest day' agenda - all of which are carried out in five minute intervals as The Kid doesn't have much patience beyond that. Notice I have dropped the Colic from his name? Well, he still suffers but it's mainly reflux-related. At one point, after a fairly terrible day of chaos everywhere we went, I christened him The 'Colic, Reflux And Pandemonium' Kid. However, I fear sticking to that acronym would create an unfair tag for his future, methinks.

At our Baby Massage class the other day, The Mothers were discussing when they were planning on going back to work: January for some, May for others, the rest in between. The thing is, I don't feel as though I have stopped to be honest. I have a little notebook next to my bed which is full of feed times, feed amounts, reflux times and nappy contents - the description that is, not the actual contents. At the other end of the aforementioned notebook, however, are pages and pages of one-liners, character notes, vague and not-so-vague story outlines, random ideas, snippets of dialogue, great 'newly discovered' words to use and a complete outline for a book which is, as I type, like my boy, in it's early infancy. There was some sort of method in my midnight madness when I decided to keep both in the same notebook - there is no way in the world I would lose the Sh*t, Eat and Sleep Log, so there's no way to lose the writing notes either. Smart l'il me. I also generally have a spare dummy attached to my mobile or purse these days. Ditto, not losing either. I always know where the dummy is.

So, The Kid - he's good. Looks more like a two year old, has been randomly teething for a month now, has a false 'look at me NOW!' cry, laughs uncontrollably at me when he wakes during the night (really not funny...) is desperately trying to walk, has a favourite toy he named Bebo, has finished his third PhD and probably logs into Facebook when I'm not watching. I have some great new photos, some of which I will upload soon for all the cyberaunts and uncs to see - I'm just waiting for his replica cover of Nirvana's 'Nevermind' to arrive. He is quite taken with TV - the little guy really knows what he likes - but I fear he may end up the youngest ever Daytime TV Controller. Now, don't get me wrong, he liked Ruth and Eamonn over the summer but as soon as he heard Phillip and Fern's voices again after their return from summer break, his little face lit up.

You know, coming to think of it, maybe he didn't shout "Bebo" at his toy all those weeks ago. Perhaps it was BBC?

Hope you're all well.

Oh dear...

Well, if it was a long time before, then it's a whole lifetime ago now. My last update, that is.

Up to my toots in dirty nappies and winning the tally on arguments with everyone in the medical profession - yep, that's me. I have been delicately informed that this first child of mine has been a "baptism of fire" and "the next one will be so much easier - you wait and see". Yeah, well folks, you can wait and wait and wait cos The Colic Kid is The One and Only as far as I am concerned. Far too much hassle and worry, these little sick uns.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

Whilst I was sleeping (in blogland perhaps; in reality - I just wish), I was tagged with a meme by that lurvly Bishop man...however, anything that requires more than 2 minutes of my time (apart from sh*tty nappies, my bed covered in baby puke at 4am and a cat disgruntled 24/7 by the lack of sleep...shame...) will have to wait a tiny little bit. Perhaps over the Bank Holiday weekend I will have five minutes to consider this little meme.

In the meantime...VIRGIN MEDIA! WHY IS MY F*ING TV SERVICE NOT WORKING - AGAIN - YOU BUNCH OF MONEY STEALING, INADEQUATE, RIP OFF SHYSTERS?

Ahem...my son is most irate at the lack of Teletubbies and I am most annoyed at anything that makes my son irate...you know, anything for an easier life...like knee caps. Comprendez? Good.

Lost the plot. Again. Til the next time: have a good Bank Hols one and all. Mwah, mwah.

x

Well, well, well.

Oh jeez, it's been a long time since I posted last. Where the f*%* did those weeks go? I'll tell ya where...

Well, first of all - in a chain of stranger than the strangest of strange events - something mightily odd happened. I got a phonecall, completely out of the blue, from a friend of a friend who also happens to be an Exec Producer. Small talk aside (I haven't seen him for a year), we then get down to the nitty gritty of his call - would I be interested in meeting up with An Associate Of His to discuss being part of a writing team on a new co-pro ongoing drama destined for ITV? Bemused by everything he's said, I agreed a coffee and a chat would very much be in order, and we arranged a meeting for the very next day.

Next morning, the sun was shining, the barista got my order right, the tubes ran like a dream, and I toddled into Soho with loads of time to chill and check my 'scribefolio', but still a little perplexed by how my name had entered the Execs' radar.

Then they arrived: Blackberrys in one hand, linen jackets in the other; we did the whole Mwah Mwah thing (I really miss that) and got down to business. So, it turns out I gave a really great off the cuff pitch a year or so ago to Exec Producer (I don't really remember it to be honest) and then very heavily voiced my opinion on the lack of US-style writing teams in the UK, and purely based on that plus an early spec script, they wanted my input and attachment to their Project.

We discussed the recent bout of dramas including 'Talk to Me' (which I ended up luuuuving) "True Dare Kiss" , "Cape Wrath" , "Dirt" and "Jekyll" and then they filled me in on all the pros and cons of the Project - which is absolutely brilliant, I tell you. Well, if that wasn't all gobsmackingly fab enough, they were actually looking for a verbal commitment there and then when my mobile rang, but being in a meeting of such excitement I obviously switched the call to voicemail. To cut all the boring contractual bits out, Exec went to the loo and Associate went to get more coffee in - and I checked my voicemail. What I heard was just beyond belief.

An old colleague friend of mine had left a message telling me his kids' TV series - for which I had written a spec script or two - had now been signed and greenlighted (green lit??) and he wanted me to pen 6 Eps. I mean, can you believe it? Was I having a dream day or what? Forty eight hours later I am signing two fantastic contracts and Exec Producer is asking me to pitch "a few more ideas" in a couple of weeks.

Wow.

All that, plus a month old baby who cries for 75% of each day due to the reflux and colic he's had since the day he was born. And if you believe any of the [work stuff] above I'm a better writer than I feel at the moment...

Sorry if you felt a little envious - but there really was no need. I lied. Big fat lies. I mean, come on - when do the tubes all run on time AND a barista gets your order right? I had to have a laugh somehow as the mass sleep deprivation is really getting to me...

Plus, if thetvcontroller can do it...

;)

The Vulcan Is Amongst Us

Thanks for all the lovely messages and emails, cyber-aunts & cyber-uncs! Wow, I'm tired - but on the brighter side, 22lbs lighter. Still a way to go before I can get back into those size 8s, but never mind, I guess I have a good excuse. I tell you - forget the all night (re)writing sessions - they've got nothing on this motherhood malarkey.

I can't believe The Kid is nearly two weeks old; I can't believe how long it seems, but on the otherhand, how it has flown; more to the point, I can't believe The Glenster is going back to work this week and leaving me to deal with this bundle all on my lonesome. Very scary indeed. Could be a while before I am back in Blogland properly - purely based on the sheer amount of washing this little bundle of joy has created so far. And let's not go near the sleep deprivation discussion.

So, a quick response to all your lovely comments:
Good Dog - Thanks mate but no, he's not letting me have ANY sleep (or so it seems)
Lucy - Aaahhhh, truck on the inside - yes, and roadkill on the inside too and please do update me on the social when arranged.
Jason - Those much referred to mittens were to stop his Freddy slasher mode - very sharp nails!
Lianne - He's well - I'm just totally in a daze!
Pots - Yours for a tenner...shall I send him to California? ;)
Pillock - Yeah, he's not too bad really - he's his Daddy's double!
Far Away - I thank you!
David Bishop - You should have seen the right hook he gave The Midwife Who Came Too Close ;)
Dom Carver - All I can say is: Get. Some. Sleep. Now.

Ok, better get back to Mother-like duties...but first, here's one to embarrass The Kid on his eighteenth...and like most good Vulcans, he's having a telepathic moment.