Cor Blimey, Mate - Time Flies and All That

Hello all

Just popping my head above the parapet for a nanosecond to check all is well in the Land.  

I have been terribly busy all week, what with one thing and another, and now it's very nearly the end of the week and I am already heading towards organising myself for next week which is also jam packed full of meetings here, there and everywhere!  Phew - and all this so close to Christmas too - it doesn't feel as though anybody is winding down for the festivities in a rush, that's for sure!  

I will also be going to see Santa next week as I need to squeeze in a trip to his grotto before Christmas - I have been a very good girl and I would like to tell him what I need this year.  Oh, ok, I thought The Kid would like to pull Santa's beard off, alright?

I may not get the chance to babble on too much for a few days,  so you could be pretty safe from Tenacious Tripe for maybe a week yet. I will return with a vengeance of course, and besides, I'll need to update you all on my Screen East interview.

I am reliably informed we have only 14 sleeps left until Christmas so  I trust you have all completed and wrapped your presents by now? Good. Thought so.  My tree's over here...no, I said here...don't go leaving my presents under James Moran's tree by accident - he's got far too many baubles as well as commissions. ;)

Until next week - probably, but not definitely.

x

Where does time go?

Hello from the other side.  The other side of 25,000 words that is.

It's been a strange week for me - 

1. I've had The Kid with a blood filled mouth and bleeding nose after falling on the floor and impaling his lower lip with three top teeth, his upper gum with two lower teeth and bashing his nose all at the same time (and yes, I panicked. A lot.); 
   
2. I've said "Ta-ra 'til the New Year" to my Mummy dearest, who's off to play the campest Evil Queen Snow White will ever have come across in Pantoland;   
   
3. I've cleared up little pools of sick, after The Cat ate one of The Kid's errant grapes (I think) ; 
   
4. I've cleared up so many leaves from the Tenacious Towers' grounds I am beginning to think they breed on the floor of the vast orchard; 
   
5. I've been shocked at how much Anton du Beke is gradually morphing into Brucie;  
   
6. I've been avidly watching our graciously returned Sky 1 (that didn't take too long did it Virgin..?) in the vain hope that something else other than 'Ross Kemp on Everything' will be on.

But just for a laugh, I've also partaken in that old game "half fall/half slide down the stairs" whilst rushing to grab The Kid's teddy for cuddles.

On the up side, I didn't fall completely as I had grabbed onto the bannister; on the down side, I grabbed with the arm that had previously been privy to a dislocated shoulder so writing has been interesting.  I also crushed two toes on one of the spindley thingies. Ouch. Obviously, my utter silence as I limped down the stairs spoke louder than any words, as The Kid said "Uh-oh" and pulled out the chenille throw which is reserved for cold winter nights, illness and /or injury cuddles.  In amongst all this madness and mayhem, I have of course be slotting in keyboard hammering flashes, where I sit talking to myself like a demented mad woman, and create NaNoWriMo stylee.

Having now passed 36,000 words, I am onto the fourth (and final) part of "Taking the Fast Lane", which seems incredible - not the novel, but just the feat!  It's been a fascinating journey to sit down with nothing and create something.  Obviously still being at least 14,000 words off, I am hoping it won't be too rough a ride.  The whole NaNoWriMo experience so far has been brilliant  and has been made even better by the Pep Talk emails we receive. So far we've had wise words from Philip Pullman, Jonathan Stroud, Katherine Paterson, Meg Cabot and many from NaNoWriMo founder, Chris Baty at HQ.  If you are interested in reading any of the pep talks they are available online here.

I was also able to breathe a sigh of relief on Friday when a fairly hefty envelope from Screen East plopped in the letter box advising me (one envelope, four separate letters inside) that each of my screenplays had been received and logged.  I had started to panic a bit as four Royal Mail bags full of post had been found abandoned in a field in my area - and of course I had convinced myself my screenplays were in there...the acknowledgement letters weren't due until Friday, but I had nonetheless convinced myself my creations were being sifted by CID for prints.  Or something.

Anyway, if I get short listed for an interview then I should know early December.  If I am successful after the interview, it'll be a great Christmas, I tell you.  

Right, before cracking on with a few more pages of the novel, I'm off to see who out of the "Celebrity" jungle inmates, has had the most surgery.  Hmmm. Let me think....

I am loving the Red London Bus - it must have been dumped there after the closing ceremony in Beijing.

Onwards.

Hallowe'en, Samhain and NaNoNoNoNo

Today, I have been tripping over a mini version of Vlad the Impaler whilst preparing my delectable fright night basket of trouble for those brave enough to bare their souls on entering the Tenacious Towers Gateway.  I adore Hallowe'en as I love scaring the sh*t out of the little sh*ts who try to scare me! Foiled again, you darn pesky kids!  I get the feeling The Kid loves Hallowe'en too - he looks super cool running around with his swishy, black cape on.  

On a less witchcraft-like and more craft-like note, I have decided to take up the challenge of NaNoWriMo after checking up on the dates for the Digital Shorts scheme. I really didn't want them to clash because if I do get onto DigiBytes/Digital Nation, I need to keep my head crystal clear and full of screenwriter and directorial info for the process, but luckily nothing solid will happen until 1st December or thereabouts.  So that leaves me a month.  A big gaping 30 days in which I have nothing to do except complete the submission for CBeebies, outline and finalise a Docudrama format, have a few of meetings here and there for research purposes, run around after The Kid, oh, and write a load of tosh which will be lovingly referred to as a novel.  And it'll probably end up like a 50,000 word blog post.  

However, I have a slight problem - now I have made the decision to actually take part in NaNoWriMo I can't get onto the website to register.  Ain't that just Sod's Law?  I guess the whole world (?) is logging on and registering but I'll keep trying.  If I succeed I hope to stick up some of their pretty stat counter thingies so you can see how bad my word count is by the day/week!  Ha!

In addition to Hallowe'en, after sundown today, it is also Samhain - marking the end of the Summer, the last Harvest and the beginning of the dark half of the year.  It's a time to take stock, develop and make tacit moves towards new, fresh goals - a good time to start making sketchy plans more solid. Onwards ever onwards and all that, so, I do hope I get to register for NaNoWriMo as it would be an appropriate start to my Celtic New Year.  

Happy Hallowe'en/Samhain!

One 2 Go!

That's what The Kid says at the top of the stairs before launching himself into my (thankfully) outstretched arms.  But it also lends itself beautifully to this weekend...I seemed to be waiting for "three" and then suddenly - the weekend was gone.  Although my geeky iPhone application reliably informs me I only have 60 sleeps until Christmas I am still smarting over the fact I got an extra hour in bed but feel no better for it. Ho ho ho. Sparkly baubles with bells on to you, sleep deprivation fairy.

I have not managed to complete any work over the weekend as my hands have been rather full with The Kid and his headstrong ways, (not really sure where he gets that from...) but I have been toying with a new idea, which - if I can rationalise in my nonce - would be jolly good fun for all those taking part. But perhaps more on this another time. 

Whilst lazily floating around the Scribosphere today, I noticed quite a few peeps have been partaking in a Drawing Personality Test.  I thought: well it's Sunday night, all's quiet on the western front, so let's have a go.  Scary.  Not sure who it is describing but it couldn't possibly be me.  Here's my titchy doodle:

And the analysis:

You are driven and ambitious and tend to make radical moves to reach your goals.
You are a thoughtful and cautious person. You like to think about your method, seeking to pursue your goal in the most effective way.
You are creative, mentally active and industrious.
You have a sunny, cheerful disposition.

So off you go...what does your drawing say about YOU?

No Test Tube Required...

Yesterday, I spent the day with Lucy at her ICA Lab which is excellently organised by Deva Palmier. It was an interesting day (spent without wearing white lab coats) and I was fascinated to hear other actors' understanding of the screenplay, characters and structure.  It was really a very enjoyable day and I for one would definitely consider taking a script there for a read-through in order to both develop and 'test the water'.  

It was lovely to catch up with Lucy as we haven't seen each other for such a long time - apparently last time was Adrian Mead's course - but it was also great to finally meet Nun with a Gun Elinor!  The fact we just "picked up from where we left off", knew each other's business like old mates and in Elinor's case - had never met - was probably a bit too much for a some peeps whose vision of "cyber geeks" was obviously something other than us lot.

All that fun aside, I'm glad to say I fully utilised The Kid-free tube travel time there and back by hammering at my Mac keyboard,  rejigging one of my Screen East subs and rewriting my biography. Again. 

Apart from a few tweaks here and there, I thought I was pretty much done on my Screen East submission - wrong. On Friday, I re-read one of the outlines I had written and decided it was total and utter cr*p.  In fact, I was so furious with my lame effort, not only did I hand shred the outline into teeny, tiny pieces whilst shouting loudly at it, I then deleted the whole damn file from Mac.  

So I started again, and it's much better this time - although I'm still not finished, but I am on my way.  

I am going to fill out the actual application form and print everything off this week, then I shall put into play my very own personal OCD (Obsessive Checking Disorder).  Very soon, I'll carry the package to the Post Office like a swaddled baby - wondering all the while if everything is included - and place it carefully into the woven, grey, plastic large letter/parcels bag. But not before Wednesday. No sireeeee, not in a zillion years.  

You see, Mercury moves forward again on Wednesday after being retrograde for ages. Wondering where those "lost in the post" things have gone?  Why THAT email hasn't been responded to? When THEY'LL call back?  I guarantee after Wednesday things will start moving again. And the stock markets too. Mark my words.* 

Ta-ra for now.

x

*The Don't Blame Me If I'm Wrong Waiver: 

The value of your investments can go down as well as up and you may get back less than you originally invested. Therefore, you should avoid investing more than you can afford to lose.

Busy, busy. Stop.

A pretty manic week to be honest as I have been desperately trying to tie up the last few exterior shots for my short.  These are dependent on the availability of three young girls, and if their social agendas are anything like The Kid's (sounds like they are) then getting them in one place, at one time for two whole hours is really going to be nothing short of a miracle.  It also needs to be a sunny day - hey ho - but let's stay positive, eh?  Let's tick all those darned boxes, goddamit. Let's lift our dreary chins up to the bright sunny sky. Let's smile out loud. Yup. Yup. Yup. Hallelujah!

Anyway.

The Kid now has a rash and a continual drippy nose thanks to his MMR jab but that didn't stop him from pushing his own buggy for half a mile following Mummy doing another recce. I did offer to push him in it, but he flatly refused. T'was a fair deal after a year of me doing the pushing, I guess. 

So here we are, another Friday and another video to ease you into the weekend. I beg you to cast aside your shoes with impromptu nonchalance, divulge your relief in the most verbose fashion, and make merry with sheer frivolity.  

Ok, just have a good weekend, then - I really hope none of these are you...

Emm, Emm, Aaaargh!

Today I had that awful feeling of: if I didn't - I was a bad mother; if I did - I was also a bad mother.  I am talking the combined MMR vaccination here, and in the pending wake of an epidemic (or was it going to be a pandemic?), I figured I should be The Bad Mother Who Chose To Vaccinate.  So The Kid is in bed and we've only had one wake up so far to report (just the usual dropped dummy).  However, I did notice he had a feint rash across his cheeks along with a chipmunk-like look.  It could of course be my imagination, which I am sure is going to run riot for the next few weeks.  Elinor has suggested Calpol and Wine, though I'm not sure they taste so good mixed.  You never know, it could be the next Red Bull & Vodka.  I'll let you know.

Talking of drinking - sorry, I meant talking of talking - I had a lovely afternoon in the fantastic company of Far Away, Potdoll & Helen on Saturday and what started out as a very calm, civilised 'coffee and cake' turned into a hysterically funny meeting of the minds (and livers). Think Women's Institute morphs into Coyote Ugly and you're vaguely moving in the right direction.

Right. Back to work I go.  Enough procras for one evening. Laters.

One

Can't really believe it was a whole year ago since The Kid whizzed onto this mortal coil. How time flies. How he's grown. How much can a toddler eat?  An awful lot.

Today, no work was done as The Kid & I spent most of our time in the company of Iggle Piggle, Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy in one form or another - and although I was thoroughly sick of seeing the characters by the end of the day, I still felt the need to remove them from his Birthday Cake before cutting it up to eat. I don't wish to carry the lifelong image of The Kid on his First Birthday, staring with horror at a dismembered Iggle Piggle.  I mean, it's not like he would have eaten them anyway as he doesn't really like cake - he prefers olives. 'Nuff said.

So, for all you cyber-rellies out there, here he is. The Kid, aged One Whole Year.  

Quite a lad. Quite a year. x

Working Girl

I'm beginning to believe I live a very surreal life.  Scrub that.  I do live a very surreal life.  Take the previous day as an example.  

In the last 24 hours I have interviewed Kris Marshall, Robert Webb, Ella Smith, Neil LaBute, Joanna Page (I also competed with her for oxygen stakes due to similar high levels of hyperactivity), chatted to Alison Steadman, Gok Wan, Ruth Jones & Mackenzie Crook to name but a few, nodded a 'smiley nod' or two to the very kind paps who let me stick my microphone into their pics, arrived home in one piece, managed around 4 solid hours' sleep, then proceeded to wipe/pick weetabix/scrambled egg/bread/milk off my clothes/out of my hair at various intervals, moments of which were also interspersed with changing nappies and cleaning up fur balls.  Confused?  Hell, I hardly know where I'm at these days, let alone you.

Let me explain.  It's all down to my new 'job' - at least the interviews and chats are, not necessarily the food/nappy/fur ball stuff which are all down to The Kid and Cat respectively - at least I think it was in that order.  I digress.  Anyway, I am now presenting & interviewing for Theatre 24/7, an online theatre channel who cover previews/premieres of West End musicals and plays.  

So, after 'Marguerite' last week, last night was the turn of 'Fat Pig', written and directed by Neil LaBute and the second in his trilogy of plays.  There was certainly a clutch of hardcore crits there last night so I'm sure the reviews will be going to press soon (if not already).  Personally I really enjoyed the show - funny but uncomfortable, self-conscious but brazen - however, I'm not the critic here, just the talky girl. All I'll say is go see it for some terrific writing and classic performances.

And on that note, I'm now going to put in a classic performance of a person sleeping heavily. Not like a baby, I'll add - whoever coined that phrase should be shot.  Or given a baby to look after for a night or so.

Until next time.

Greater London?

Had a great day out in Boris' London yesterday.  

The tubes ran on time, sun shone on the South Bank, people smiled & laughed, the crowds veered slowly en masse in Covent Garden, strolled casually in Leicester Square and swaggered in Regent Street, and all the time The Kid clapped, waved furiously and beamed his infectious two-tooth grin at every passer by.

After buying Hamleys and then circumnavigating the rest of London for a tube station with pushchair access (there really aren't that many centrally) we decided Bond Street would do - even a grand amount of stairs didn't dampen the spirits - and headed home.  All tube connection timings were just perfect.  No delays. Even the possible moments of mortal embarrassment as The Kid repeatedly lurched towards the man on the seat behind and tried to remove his toupé, became quite the funniest thing everyone on the tube had seen. 

Ahhhh.  There really is no place like London in the sun, especially when it all runs like clockwork.

Boris please take note.

Oops, nearly forgot.  May the 4th Be With You.  ;)

Belated Happy Birthday

My oh my, these posts have become very few and far between, of late, but I guess there has been an awful lot going on.  I hang my head in shame as I even missed my Blog's First Birthday - a total bloody disgrace that.  Hell, I nearly forgot my own Birthday this year too.  Let's hope I don't miss The Kid's First Birthday...but not much chance of that, I don't think.  Mmmmm.  Let me see.  Missed Birthdays: if I have missed yours and didn't send you e-flowers via Facebook, please accept my deepest, most sincere apologies.

So, The Kid.  Lots of Bloggites out there have been asking after him - well, he's fine and dandy, thanks - I'll update you all with a piccy of him soon.  He had a ball with his Grandparents whilst the slopes were duly carved up by his Parents. The snow, skiing and food/drink were great and I even managed to get a bit of recce stuff done and shoot a few location reminders for an outline I have been working on for a while.  Lovely.  But to return home on my Birthday (which is why I nearly forgot it)?  Bummer.  To return home on my Birthday to The Kid teething very badly?  Double bummer.  So, after his nasty rash/fever/high temperature/drowsiness panic, trip to the docs, investment in Calpol shares (now, of course, kept behind the counter), I am proud to announce last Thursday's arrival of The Kid's Very First Tooth, which is closely being followed by The Kid's Second Tooth, and what razor blades the little blighters are.  I am so glad he has his milk from a bottle.

Moving on.

So, what else has been happening, then?  Oh, my.  I don't know where to start as there really has been an awful lot!  I have been making tentative steps back towards "selling my wares" again, which has been very strange.  After such a long time off camera, it feels a mighty bit odd (and a little displaced) getting back into the swing of castings etc again.  In fact, it is almost quite amusing, in a "You know what?  If I don't get this job it really isn't the end of the world!" kind of way, because The Kid will still stick his fingers up my nose and giggle when I am feeding him his bedtime bottle, no matter what.  Grounding - I believe that's what it's referred to as.  However, as luck would have it, I have been granted a lovely (and very exciting) opportunity starting in the not-too-distant future.  I can't reveal much at the moment but I can say it will be on screen and I am really looking forward to it!  I promise an update soon...

I hope life is treating you all very well.

Working 9 til 5...I wish

And breathe.

A whirlwind of occurrences, that's the life I lead.  Well, only sometimes these days, anyway.

The week went something like this:

Monday - The Kid was still not very well having just parted company with a sicky, coldy bug but still managed to soldier on through his 8 month check up with The Health Visitor.  He smiled at all the right things, burped loudly followed by a bellow of giggles, frowned when The Health Visitor tickled him under the chin, bobbed up and down to imaginary music and clapped on demand, and then when he got bored he chewed his shoe and farted. I then dropped him off at nursery whilst I headed home to try and get some work done.  It's amazing when you are writing how quickly nursery/school pick up time comes round...6 pages written; 9 calls made; 7 emails responded to.

Tuesday - The Kid took a backwards step in his recovery.  All plans - blown out.  Spent day with ass hovering over sofa, wishing I could just sit down for two seconds without mopping up snot, puke or rocking back and forth...0 pages written; 0 calls made; 0 emails read let alone responded to.

Wednesday - The Kid made a fantastically remarkable recovery and had so much energy all day I bit the bullet and decided to take him to his swimming class.  After a hard hour in the gym I dashed home to make a few calls whilst my Mum was still enthralled with her Grandson.  Perfick...0 pages written; 4 calls made; all emails read; 1 child knackered after a hard swim.

Thursday - first of all, thanks must go to the most courteous Mark for organising another little Blogette/Facebook get-together.  Yet again, a  very enjoyable afternoon which - horror of horrors - turned into an early evening minus child for me.  My system was so shocked by the lack of The Kid's bathtime "splash-splash", the fight to get him into his sleep suit afterwards and then the gentle prodding to keep him awake for his bottle, that I felt the need to consume more than my original 'just the one'...3 new chapters outlined; 5 calls made; 2 meetings attended; 1 social gathering attended; email read & responded to; 1 very odd journey home having laughed out [very] loud at my book on many occasions and then realising I wasn't the only person in the carriage. :0)

Friday - The Kid's music class and this week he emerged as star pupil due to his innate ability to 'bop' like a home boy whilst clapping furiously and, for the most part, totally in time to the music.  He was so immersed in the class that he only twice realised I was sitting beside him on the floor.  If I'd only thought to take MacBook with me I could have done a bit of writing. The only foot stomping occurred when the bubbles stopped and apparently the teacher felt so awful looking at his big, sad eyes, she carried on with the bubbles for a while longer, just for him.  I fear a future actor and/or muso in the making.  Either that or a Dictator...3 pages written (somehow); 0 calls made; all email read; 1 very proud mum.

Saturday - Amidst all the very tedious household stuff that has to be undertaken every weekend, I noted that Zone Horror have "Cut! The 2008 Horror Short Film Competition" running.  This is sponsored by C4's Fright Fest  and is worth up to £5k in winnings for a 2 minute film.  Closing date for entries is Friday 13th (!) June 2008 - so all you genre-istas out there - get going!  0 pages written; 2 chapters outlined; 0 calls made; 0 emails answered; 1 very domesticated-out mum.

Sunday - hasn't passed yet.  Anything could happen...may check emails.

And breathe.

There Be Snow

...in them there mountains.

I'm on a month-long countdown to skiing and just how excited am I?  Very.  It's been far too long - you know - the whole pregnancy and childbirth/early rearing got in the way.  I'll be back in the Alps with a vengeance though.  The area I am going to has loads of beautiful snow dumped on it over the last few days - at the time of writing, 245cm of the fluffy stuff to be exact.  Bring it on & long may it stay!

So what's new with you all out there?  I have started up another blog, 

D-Generation, which is a fiction outlet (like this isn't, at times?!), which will gradually grow when the whim takes me; I am cracking on with the book stuff; have a few more irons in the fire here and there, including the ongoing contract which still hasn't come to anything yet and am generally trying to get things moving along again.  I mean, The Kid is 8 months old soon.  Time for me to pull my finger out, right? ;)

Just don't know what I've been doing with my time.  Honestly.

2008 - Take No Prisoners

Here's one I wrote earlier...the 1st of January to be precise.  And forgot to publish it.  Ho hum. Back soon with more of an update.  Promise.

And there it went. Ta-ra to 2007; ay-oop to 2008.

Not sure what you all did but I spent most of the 'celebrations' mopping snot dribbling from The Kid's nose, cursing the fireworks that woke him up from his boy-flu-induced slumber, rocking him back to sleep in one arm whilst transferring the millionth file from Old Slaptop to New MacBook. Hours of fun still to have but I need to purchase a few bits of software so I can actually do things. Hours of fun, like I said.  Ah, yes, those will be the hours I don't really have to waste...

Well, whatever 2007 left you with, may 2008 only expand and improve.  Unless it was an STD - in which case I don't wish for your sake it expands, just improves.  

Oh Guys...

Judging by the comments and emails I have received since my recent post: it's great to be missed!

Honestly guys & gals: eaten by cats, lost in 'Lost', rewriting 'War and Peace', run away with a sexy paediatrician, still giving birth? Just to explain - this is exactly what takes up all my living, breathing and [lack of] sleeping hours at the moment...

One, two, three....ahhhh. [Bucket please...]

BSSC - Any luck?

So, we didn't win the rugby, football, Grand Prix or much else since my last post. I however, have been extremely busy. Not necessarily winning, but at least I've been getting on top of it all...

The Kid is growing up fast & furious - that's to say he's growing quickly, not in a fast or furious manner, or even remotely like any character in the movie of the same name. I have recently been sourcing & checking out nurseries for him to attend part-time in January as it looks as though there may be a long term contract on the horizon for me. Good-eee. More about that at a later date though - not talking details until it's signed, sealed and delivered. ;)

So, what's been happening out there? I see the BSSC finalists have been announced - has anyone I know been lucky?

I hope to be back to regular blogging sooner rather than later...ever hopeful!

My goodness...

I have tried my hardest - and usually failed - to keep up to date with everyone else's blogs, but from what I have read, it looks like everyone has been really busy in cyberscribospace. I deeply apologise for the extreme lack of updates from this end. I am still alive - I think.

It's been manic. A learning curve. A waking nightmare. A total headf***. But he's gorgeous all the same. However, I have discovered the perils of having a baby - he has a social diary like I have never, ever had myself:

Monday - 'rest day' [i.e. yoga with Mummy, playmat with Mummy, singing with Mummy, repeatedly making silly noises with Mummy, sensory book time with Mummy, shopping with Mummy, cleaning with Mummy, hanging out the washing with Mummy, gardening with Mummy, "This Morning" with Phillip & Fern (and Mummy).]
Tuesday - Massage class (Baby Massage, of course)
Wednesday - Swimming class
Thursday - ante-natal mates coffee & cakes/general moan session/babies all cry together etc
Friday - Music class

Other times are taken up with the 'rest day' agenda - all of which are carried out in five minute intervals as The Kid doesn't have much patience beyond that. Notice I have dropped the Colic from his name? Well, he still suffers but it's mainly reflux-related. At one point, after a fairly terrible day of chaos everywhere we went, I christened him The 'Colic, Reflux And Pandemonium' Kid. However, I fear sticking to that acronym would create an unfair tag for his future, methinks.

At our Baby Massage class the other day, The Mothers were discussing when they were planning on going back to work: January for some, May for others, the rest in between. The thing is, I don't feel as though I have stopped to be honest. I have a little notebook next to my bed which is full of feed times, feed amounts, reflux times and nappy contents - the description that is, not the actual contents. At the other end of the aforementioned notebook, however, are pages and pages of one-liners, character notes, vague and not-so-vague story outlines, random ideas, snippets of dialogue, great 'newly discovered' words to use and a complete outline for a book which is, as I type, like my boy, in it's early infancy. There was some sort of method in my midnight madness when I decided to keep both in the same notebook - there is no way in the world I would lose the Sh*t, Eat and Sleep Log, so there's no way to lose the writing notes either. Smart l'il me. I also generally have a spare dummy attached to my mobile or purse these days. Ditto, not losing either. I always know where the dummy is.

So, The Kid - he's good. Looks more like a two year old, has been randomly teething for a month now, has a false 'look at me NOW!' cry, laughs uncontrollably at me when he wakes during the night (really not funny...) is desperately trying to walk, has a favourite toy he named Bebo, has finished his third PhD and probably logs into Facebook when I'm not watching. I have some great new photos, some of which I will upload soon for all the cyberaunts and uncs to see - I'm just waiting for his replica cover of Nirvana's 'Nevermind' to arrive. He is quite taken with TV - the little guy really knows what he likes - but I fear he may end up the youngest ever Daytime TV Controller. Now, don't get me wrong, he liked Ruth and Eamonn over the summer but as soon as he heard Phillip and Fern's voices again after their return from summer break, his little face lit up.

You know, coming to think of it, maybe he didn't shout "Bebo" at his toy all those weeks ago. Perhaps it was BBC?

Hope you're all well.

Oh dear...

Well, if it was a long time before, then it's a whole lifetime ago now. My last update, that is.

Up to my toots in dirty nappies and winning the tally on arguments with everyone in the medical profession - yep, that's me. I have been delicately informed that this first child of mine has been a "baptism of fire" and "the next one will be so much easier - you wait and see". Yeah, well folks, you can wait and wait and wait cos The Colic Kid is The One and Only as far as I am concerned. Far too much hassle and worry, these little sick uns.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

Whilst I was sleeping (in blogland perhaps; in reality - I just wish), I was tagged with a meme by that lurvly Bishop man...however, anything that requires more than 2 minutes of my time (apart from sh*tty nappies, my bed covered in baby puke at 4am and a cat disgruntled 24/7 by the lack of sleep...shame...) will have to wait a tiny little bit. Perhaps over the Bank Holiday weekend I will have five minutes to consider this little meme.

In the meantime...VIRGIN MEDIA! WHY IS MY F*ING TV SERVICE NOT WORKING - AGAIN - YOU BUNCH OF MONEY STEALING, INADEQUATE, RIP OFF SHYSTERS?

Ahem...my son is most irate at the lack of Teletubbies and I am most annoyed at anything that makes my son irate...you know, anything for an easier life...like knee caps. Comprendez? Good.

Lost the plot. Again. Til the next time: have a good Bank Hols one and all. Mwah, mwah.

x

BSSC - Round 1

Well, it's been a bit of along time again...

Many thanks to Lucy who very kindly informed me that I have got through the first round of the British Short Screenplay Competition! Y'see, as a Mum of two, she completely knows where I am at the moment with regards to an incredible lack of cybertime - and lack of real time, come to think of it.

Well done to Lucy too, as she has also got through and many congratulations to all fellow bloggers (such as Jason and Elinor) who also got through the 1st round! Anyone else? Let me know!

The Colic Kid has been taking up far too much of my time recently. Apart from the dirty nappies (he cries as soon as he's got a dirty one and for the second time he managed to fart a poo at me during a 4am nappy change), reflux vomiting (like a fountain), vinegar breath (acid smell from the reflux), constant feeds (it eases the reflux) and colicky episodes, he is a delight. He's smiling loads, giggling, trying to say 'Hello', copies me waving, lifts his hands and arms to be picked up, loves Teletubbies and the juggling Specsavers advert, looks as though he'll be crawling soon, tries to sit up by himself and is just about to embark on his first PhD - ok, maybe not that, but he's pretty smart all the same.

Anyway, got to dash as that's my cybertime up. The Colic Kid has just finished an equation and needs his next bottle...

The Vulcan Is Amongst Us

Thanks for all the lovely messages and emails, cyber-aunts & cyber-uncs! Wow, I'm tired - but on the brighter side, 22lbs lighter. Still a way to go before I can get back into those size 8s, but never mind, I guess I have a good excuse. I tell you - forget the all night (re)writing sessions - they've got nothing on this motherhood malarkey.

I can't believe The Kid is nearly two weeks old; I can't believe how long it seems, but on the otherhand, how it has flown; more to the point, I can't believe The Glenster is going back to work this week and leaving me to deal with this bundle all on my lonesome. Very scary indeed. Could be a while before I am back in Blogland properly - purely based on the sheer amount of washing this little bundle of joy has created so far. And let's not go near the sleep deprivation discussion.

So, a quick response to all your lovely comments:
Good Dog - Thanks mate but no, he's not letting me have ANY sleep (or so it seems)
Lucy - Aaahhhh, truck on the inside - yes, and roadkill on the inside too and please do update me on the social when arranged.
Jason - Those much referred to mittens were to stop his Freddy slasher mode - very sharp nails!
Lianne - He's well - I'm just totally in a daze!
Pots - Yours for a tenner...shall I send him to California? ;)
Pillock - Yeah, he's not too bad really - he's his Daddy's double!
Far Away - I thank you!
David Bishop - You should have seen the right hook he gave The Midwife Who Came Too Close ;)
Dom Carver - All I can say is: Get. Some. Sleep. Now.

Ok, better get back to Mother-like duties...but first, here's one to embarrass The Kid on his eighteenth...and like most good Vulcans, he's having a telepathic moment.