Oh dear...

Well, if it was a long time before, then it's a whole lifetime ago now. My last update, that is.

Up to my toots in dirty nappies and winning the tally on arguments with everyone in the medical profession - yep, that's me. I have been delicately informed that this first child of mine has been a "baptism of fire" and "the next one will be so much easier - you wait and see". Yeah, well folks, you can wait and wait and wait cos The Colic Kid is The One and Only as far as I am concerned. Far too much hassle and worry, these little sick uns.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

Whilst I was sleeping (in blogland perhaps; in reality - I just wish), I was tagged with a meme by that lurvly Bishop man...however, anything that requires more than 2 minutes of my time (apart from sh*tty nappies, my bed covered in baby puke at 4am and a cat disgruntled 24/7 by the lack of sleep...shame...) will have to wait a tiny little bit. Perhaps over the Bank Holiday weekend I will have five minutes to consider this little meme.

In the meantime...VIRGIN MEDIA! WHY IS MY F*ING TV SERVICE NOT WORKING - AGAIN - YOU BUNCH OF MONEY STEALING, INADEQUATE, RIP OFF SHYSTERS?

Ahem...my son is most irate at the lack of Teletubbies and I am most annoyed at anything that makes my son irate...you know, anything for an easier life...like knee caps. Comprendez? Good.

Lost the plot. Again. Til the next time: have a good Bank Hols one and all. Mwah, mwah.

x

Whoosh...

And there goes another week. It's been a mighty busy few days or so.

I'm glad to say the short script is done, dusted and gone to the BSSC (many thanks to those who offered to read on the 'next' round on Pof3 but it was pretty much 'there'-ish - I will, of course, impose something else on you three in the not too distant future!), and much to my delight, the V+ Box seems to have had a word with itself and stopped turning everyone on TV a lighter shade of alien. It's always quite nice when technology sorts itself out.

On the other hand, I have been living in a bit of a bubble for the last few days and have not had the labotomy which would enable me to watch any BB on the aforementioned technology. But to top off all that bubble living, I have been having some major weird aches and pains which would suggest that The Kid is imminently about to make an appearance in the world - so, get the cyberchampers on ice, guys and gals.

This coming weekend is not only D-Day for me and The Kid, but it also features the most courses/masterclasses to be held over a few days, than I have ever heard of in my entire life.

If you are attending Adrian Mead's bound-to-be-brilliant course, "The Long Distance Screen Writer" or Paul Ashton's appearance & talk at the Women Writer's Network, or Vogler's "The Writer's Journey", or Living Spirit's "Making it in Hollywood", or Rona Munro's "Writing, A Survival Guide", or Channel 4's "Four Days in June" (although, strictly speaking this is on next week), then please do post a comment here or a link back to your blog so all those afflicted with the wretched scourge, "cannotmakeit-itis", can read about the fantastic day/days the panacea-discovering rest of you had.

Looking ahead to TV this weekend (and programmed into my V+ in case I go into labour - that would be typical), the first part of Danny Brocklehurst's much anticipated "Talk To Me" starts at 21:30, Sunday 10th June, ITV. You can read how the series came about here and more about the man himself, here. I'm hoping it's going to be a good one to watch.

Right, I'm off to play with the baby monitor or something.

Virgin Media - what's going on?

Just flipped on the TV. Oh dear. Virgin Media - WTF? The consultancy who charged you a zillion quid for that 'design decision' was severely having a laugh. No honestly, guys, there's no Ricky Gervais here. They really were.

For non-VM customers, please let me explain.

We used to have a little pale blue/dark blue information bar when selecting channels, flicking through the TV Guide, on demand etc. All information pages were of the blue pallete. But now...now we have this Black and Yellow colourway thing going on. Instead of moving to their Virgin reddish pallette, somebody has splattered a beehive over all the informaton pages. I can see my email now:

"Dear Virgin Design Team, was your decision-maker a London Wasps fan?"

Perhaps it's colour-coded by football area - my local Prem team being Watford FC.

Are you in another area with the same gross and migraine-inducing change?

Aah, the Glenster has just informed me that the 'new look' is in line with the V+ service. Now I know what it stands for. Vomit Plus.