An Off-Topic Ode

We've had lots of fun, haven't we, you and I? But now I am torn and beside myself with upset at the realisation it's time to go our separate ways. I'm not sure how I will cope - or indeed if I will.

I don't mean to drag up the past, but in all honesty, you have had me wound round your sexy appeal for too long and only now have I finally plucked up the courage to tell you how much you have let me down at times.

When I have needed you the most, you have appeared cold, aloof, distant and totally switched off. You built me right up into the clouds with promises, hope and faith, then you took a big step backwards and watched me lose my balance. When I turned to you in my hours of need you have stayed at arm's distance and stared blankly at me, or not even bothered to communicate anything at all. You slipped into my life like a hot knife through butter and then before I knew it, you were always there - within grasp of my fingertips - but never wholly committed.

Then there have been the times when you've been my inspiration, my closest friend and my confidante; my cook, my thief and my lover. Remembering those times makes my head whirl with excitement and my heart burst with pride; it makes me smile so wide I feel my mouth may unravel. Wow! We've discovered a whole new way of living, you and I, and it is something I will carry on doing forever - only next time, it will be bigger and better - that I can guarantee. There will always be empty promises in life - I know that - but happiness in however small amounts, is something I feel I must grasp when I can.

But here I sit - lonely, empty and cut off - and now, in my view, since you flounced not-so-balletically across the kitchen floor this morning, and deposited a small shard of glass in my cheek, dearest i-Phone: you are a useless piece of shit.

I shall have to dust off Crackberry until your replacement enters my life. Thanks for the memories. You tw*t.

Twelve Steps of Enlightenment

Hello Crystal Tips.

Here are a dozen things that have become apparent this week:

1. I could work from anywhere in the world and no-one would know any different.
   
2. Going to the gym makes me happy, and keeps me focused for the rest of the day.
   
3. Narrow roads, trees, X5s and wing mirrors mix like oil and water.
   
4. I  just realised how organised, and how pretty good at organising I am.
   
5. 'No' is not an definitive answer.
   
6. I lost a very beautiful friend a month or so ago, and I really miss him & his dreadful sardonic wit more than I thought I would.
   
7. I'm not too bad a business person.
   
8. Edit suites suck life force out of you and then re-inject it, just when you didn't expect it.
   
9. Tapas and Rioja in Spain taste better than at home.
   
10. The Pet Shop Boys track, "Vulnerable" (from "Yes") sounds perfect with the word 'insomnia' replacing 'vulnerable', when you can't sleep at 3am. Again.
    
11. Airports are both expensive and tedious at the same time. I fear this is somewhat a raw deal.
    
12. There is never a dull moment if you walk around with a torch.

Now, I am sure you are all behaving out there, but play nice for the rest of the week, please. I am checking/polishing off the #twitstunt edits tomorrow - uh-huh, there are two versions - and then apparently there is yet another Bank Holiday on Monday. Sweet Jesus, how dull. How schedule-interfering. How bloody...Monday-ish.  

Oh, well, whatever you are planning - dancing around a maypole with bells on, that kind of thing - do enjoy and have an 'arf'.

Ever onwards, little ones, ever onwards.

The Truth, the Whole Truth

I can't believe The Barron has spilt the beans.

And it was all going so damn swimmingly.

*sigh*

Cor Blimey, Mate - Time Flies and All That

Hello all

Just popping my head above the parapet for a nanosecond to check all is well in the Land.  

I have been terribly busy all week, what with one thing and another, and now it's very nearly the end of the week and I am already heading towards organising myself for next week which is also jam packed full of meetings here, there and everywhere!  Phew - and all this so close to Christmas too - it doesn't feel as though anybody is winding down for the festivities in a rush, that's for sure!  

I will also be going to see Santa next week as I need to squeeze in a trip to his grotto before Christmas - I have been a very good girl and I would like to tell him what I need this year.  Oh, ok, I thought The Kid would like to pull Santa's beard off, alright?

I may not get the chance to babble on too much for a few days,  so you could be pretty safe from Tenacious Tripe for maybe a week yet. I will return with a vengeance of course, and besides, I'll need to update you all on my Screen East interview.

I am reliably informed we have only 14 sleeps left until Christmas so  I trust you have all completed and wrapped your presents by now? Good. Thought so.  My tree's over here...no, I said here...don't go leaving my presents under James Moran's tree by accident - he's got far too many baubles as well as commissions. ;)

Until next week - probably, but not definitely.

x

Unidentified Bug

Well it's been writing and film mad, mad, mad, here at Tenacious Towers and what with one thing and another, it's been all go. But here's a thing that stumped me today.

I am hoping someone out there may know a thing or two about bugs - that is, colourful ones and of the garden variety. You see, whilst I was taking some time out and trimming one of the colossal lavender bushes in the T. T. grounds, I came across quite an extraordinary little beetle-y thing. Kind of like a ladybird with a petroleum-inspired colour scheme - or King Bling, as we named it.

Here are a couple of pictures I took.  It was very tame and most accommodating, and it liked my purple ruler as much as I do.

Any takers?  Just don't tell me it's worth a zillion quid as I placed it back, in a most Zen manner, exactly where I found it. ;)

Inflatable Dog Poo, Anyone?

Here's a breaking news story for you:

-------------------------------

Inflatable Dog Poo Sculpture Wreaks Havoc

A modern art exhibit has wreaked havoc after blowing away from a museum in the Swiss city of Berne.

The exhibit in question, titled “Complex Sh*t”, was an inflatable dog turd the size of a house.

The exhibit, a sculpture by American artist Paul McCarthy, was blown loose from its moorings at the Paul Klee centre. An inopportune gust of wind then carried it 200 yards.

The giant inflatable stool brought down an electricity line and smashed a greenhouse window before eventually coming to rest in the grounds of a children’s home.

Representatives of the museum later revealed that McCarthy’s work of art had a safety system that would automatically deflate the inflatable turd in the event of a storm but admitted the device had failed to activate.

--------------------------------

Someone please tell me it's April 1st or the inflatable sh*t's gonna hit the fan...

Wrath of the Edit Suite

A friend just emailed me this and I had to share it with you all.  Quite the best laugh I've had a for a while.  ;)

Time Out Meme

I seem to be going round in circles with my rough edit mainly because I changed editing software half way through: never a good idea.  I was extremely impressed with Apple's service though - I ordered my software at around 3pm on Wednesday and it arrived less than 24 hours later.  Very coolios.

Now I am getting to grips with all the functionality of the aforementioned software, Final Cut - and there are a lot of functions to get my tired little head round - but all in all it seems to be going ok though. I think. I have sat in on so many edits over the years I can dream-walk through all the correct mouse clicks and visualize the perfect requirement - if only I knew where they were in the menus and what they were actually called to begin with.  "The thingy that makes it go all fadey and frizzly" is a strange way to explain a cross dissolve but as I said, I'm getting there. I doubt any whizzy-dizzy editors would agree, but I'm trying!

In order to rest my Final Cut brain cells a little, I have thought up a new little meme, so here goes; copy and paste this info into yours and off you go...

"Name the last ten (10) programmes/films saved onto your hard drive/ Sky+/ Virgin+Box/ video / other media recording drive and then tag five more people to do the same."

Mine are:

1. In the Night Garden
2. Top Gear
3. Imagine...Annie Lebovitz
4. Rough Guide to Ultimate Escapes
5. Saturday Kitchen
6. Blade: Trinity
7. This is England
8. Rough Guide to Urban Adventures
9. The Ipcress File
10. Gordon The Garden Gnome

I have only stuck the links in mine in case you are really bored today. 

Right then, here are my lucky lot: I tag Potdoll, Lianne, Lucy, Mark, Arnopp & Beckley.

Musical Chairs

I was recently-ish tagged by the lovely Lianne and delicious Dog.  

The rules are: "List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to".

Well I have two seconds spare, so here's my top seven:

1. California Soul (Marlena Shaw) - I just love this song.  One I will never tire of, it has an intangible warmth that belongs to the sands of Malibu.
   
2. Shot You Down (Audio Bullys) - great when you're on the cross trainer in the gym...
3. Like Toy Soldiers (Eminem) - jus' like it, right? You got a problem with that, bro'? ;)
4. In Taberna: In Taberna Quando Sumus (Orff/Carmina Burana) - kicks.  Just when you think you know where it's going, it doesn't.
5. Cloudbusting (Kate Bush) - an eternal fav. Now and again when it rains, I put this on, stare out the window and h-o-p-e.
6. Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? (Moby)  - just beaut.  Like a little girl's first pair of pale pink ballet slippers.
7. First It Giveth (Queens of the Stone Age) - the syncopation does it for me every time.

Oh my, I really could go on and on and on.  I have so many 'seasonals', 'emotive boxes' and 'forever favourites' - perhaps I should knock up a list of my own and start meme-ing y'all out there...mmmmm, I'm off to think about that.

In the meantime - I think everyone in cyberland has been tagged already with this one so I won't re-tag. However, if you haven't been 'done' by this one, then please consider yourself well and truly tagged.

I'll be returning with another meme soon. Perhaps. Or not.

One

Can't really believe it was a whole year ago since The Kid whizzed onto this mortal coil. How time flies. How he's grown. How much can a toddler eat?  An awful lot.

Today, no work was done as The Kid & I spent most of our time in the company of Iggle Piggle, Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy in one form or another - and although I was thoroughly sick of seeing the characters by the end of the day, I still felt the need to remove them from his Birthday Cake before cutting it up to eat. I don't wish to carry the lifelong image of The Kid on his First Birthday, staring with horror at a dismembered Iggle Piggle.  I mean, it's not like he would have eaten them anyway as he doesn't really like cake - he prefers olives. 'Nuff said.

So, for all you cyber-rellies out there, here he is. The Kid, aged One Whole Year.  

Quite a lad. Quite a year. x

Who Lives in a Lift Like This?

Being an avid stair user, I always take the stairs instead of a lift or escalator.  So, whilst on my way to film some interviews earlier in the week, imagine my sheer horror when I decided to take the Covent Garden Tube station elevator only to discover Loyd Grossman stuck on top of me? Well, his voice that is, not him in person.  At least I don't think it's actually him - unless TFL have wedged him in the escape hatch.  I know he is connected to museums & heritage, but I was so shocked to hear his dulcet tones I couldn't tell you what he was recommending I go and take a look at.  Whatever it was, it was surely a missed opportunity...

Talking of missed opportunities, don't miss this one: if anybody needs more information about BBCs "Sharps", then wing your way over to this page and have your Qs A'd.

And whilst we're on the subject of Qs being A'd: the Writers Room has now published their full transcript of Matthew Graham & Ashley Pharoah's Q&A session, which makes an interesting read.

See what I did there?  Just like my interviewing skills, that was darn slick.  

Lol. ;0)

Waxing Lyrical

As you may or may not be aware, I have a real penchant for song lyrics. A story in it's own right, a good lyric will pull you into it's arena and weave the most fantastic spell around you until you're snared. You will also probably hear it a million times a day on the radio, and then by the next new TV season, you'll hear it in various incarnations as a theme tune or incidental music.

So after my post quoting Nickelback's "Rockstar" as my most 'wished I'd written' of last year, here's my new one - "Without You" by The Feeling.  

This song is from their February 2008 released album, "Join With Us", and is quoted on their website as "a moving tale of far-from-home yearning written when the band found themselves in Virginia on the day of the Virginia Tech shootings". In my opinion it certainly paints that far-from-home feeling (no pun intended), however, it definitely has an air of The Carpenters about it - perhaps it's a "Rainy Days and Mondays" ilk or something. Not sure, but it's there.

Enjoy the story - you'll hear it playing out on a radio near you soon...

"WIthout You" by The Feeling

Winters come and summers go 

Last time round for all we know 

Wonder what the time is in London 

As they tear this world apart

Step by step it breaks my heart 

Wonder what the time is in London 

I know I'm not the only lonely child 

Thirty dead and one teenage gun man 

I wonder what the time is in London, without you 

I get up early every morning, without you 

I open the blind and let the dawn in, without you 

And then I think about growing older, without you 

And my blood runs a little colder, without you 

It's raining hard in North Virginia 

Just like London Town 

Tales of screams from giant screens 

Full of fear and full of beans 

Wonder what the news is in London 

Tell me what I've always known, 

Live is love and love's at home 

Wonder if they miss me in London 

These are the things that make us glad we're still alive 

Even though your heart's in the dungeon 

I wonder what the time is in London, without you 

I get up early every morning, without you 

I open the blind and let the dawn in, without you 

And then I think about growing older, without you 

And my blood runs a little colder, without you 

It's raining hard in North Virginia 

Just like London Town (rpt x3)

Greater London?

Had a great day out in Boris' London yesterday.  

The tubes ran on time, sun shone on the South Bank, people smiled & laughed, the crowds veered slowly en masse in Covent Garden, strolled casually in Leicester Square and swaggered in Regent Street, and all the time The Kid clapped, waved furiously and beamed his infectious two-tooth grin at every passer by.

After buying Hamleys and then circumnavigating the rest of London for a tube station with pushchair access (there really aren't that many centrally) we decided Bond Street would do - even a grand amount of stairs didn't dampen the spirits - and headed home.  All tube connection timings were just perfect.  No delays. Even the possible moments of mortal embarrassment as The Kid repeatedly lurched towards the man on the seat behind and tried to remove his toupé, became quite the funniest thing everyone on the tube had seen. 

Ahhhh.  There really is no place like London in the sun, especially when it all runs like clockwork.

Boris please take note.

Oops, nearly forgot.  May the 4th Be With You.  ;)

Belated Happy Birthday

My oh my, these posts have become very few and far between, of late, but I guess there has been an awful lot going on.  I hang my head in shame as I even missed my Blog's First Birthday - a total bloody disgrace that.  Hell, I nearly forgot my own Birthday this year too.  Let's hope I don't miss The Kid's First Birthday...but not much chance of that, I don't think.  Mmmmm.  Let me see.  Missed Birthdays: if I have missed yours and didn't send you e-flowers via Facebook, please accept my deepest, most sincere apologies.

So, The Kid.  Lots of Bloggites out there have been asking after him - well, he's fine and dandy, thanks - I'll update you all with a piccy of him soon.  He had a ball with his Grandparents whilst the slopes were duly carved up by his Parents. The snow, skiing and food/drink were great and I even managed to get a bit of recce stuff done and shoot a few location reminders for an outline I have been working on for a while.  Lovely.  But to return home on my Birthday (which is why I nearly forgot it)?  Bummer.  To return home on my Birthday to The Kid teething very badly?  Double bummer.  So, after his nasty rash/fever/high temperature/drowsiness panic, trip to the docs, investment in Calpol shares (now, of course, kept behind the counter), I am proud to announce last Thursday's arrival of The Kid's Very First Tooth, which is closely being followed by The Kid's Second Tooth, and what razor blades the little blighters are.  I am so glad he has his milk from a bottle.

Moving on.

So, what else has been happening, then?  Oh, my.  I don't know where to start as there really has been an awful lot!  I have been making tentative steps back towards "selling my wares" again, which has been very strange.  After such a long time off camera, it feels a mighty bit odd (and a little displaced) getting back into the swing of castings etc again.  In fact, it is almost quite amusing, in a "You know what?  If I don't get this job it really isn't the end of the world!" kind of way, because The Kid will still stick his fingers up my nose and giggle when I am feeding him his bedtime bottle, no matter what.  Grounding - I believe that's what it's referred to as.  However, as luck would have it, I have been granted a lovely (and very exciting) opportunity starting in the not-too-distant future.  I can't reveal much at the moment but I can say it will be on screen and I am really looking forward to it!  I promise an update soon...

I hope life is treating you all very well.

Working 9 til 5...I wish

And breathe.

A whirlwind of occurrences, that's the life I lead.  Well, only sometimes these days, anyway.

The week went something like this:

Monday - The Kid was still not very well having just parted company with a sicky, coldy bug but still managed to soldier on through his 8 month check up with The Health Visitor.  He smiled at all the right things, burped loudly followed by a bellow of giggles, frowned when The Health Visitor tickled him under the chin, bobbed up and down to imaginary music and clapped on demand, and then when he got bored he chewed his shoe and farted. I then dropped him off at nursery whilst I headed home to try and get some work done.  It's amazing when you are writing how quickly nursery/school pick up time comes round...6 pages written; 9 calls made; 7 emails responded to.

Tuesday - The Kid took a backwards step in his recovery.  All plans - blown out.  Spent day with ass hovering over sofa, wishing I could just sit down for two seconds without mopping up snot, puke or rocking back and forth...0 pages written; 0 calls made; 0 emails read let alone responded to.

Wednesday - The Kid made a fantastically remarkable recovery and had so much energy all day I bit the bullet and decided to take him to his swimming class.  After a hard hour in the gym I dashed home to make a few calls whilst my Mum was still enthralled with her Grandson.  Perfick...0 pages written; 4 calls made; all emails read; 1 child knackered after a hard swim.

Thursday - first of all, thanks must go to the most courteous Mark for organising another little Blogette/Facebook get-together.  Yet again, a  very enjoyable afternoon which - horror of horrors - turned into an early evening minus child for me.  My system was so shocked by the lack of The Kid's bathtime "splash-splash", the fight to get him into his sleep suit afterwards and then the gentle prodding to keep him awake for his bottle, that I felt the need to consume more than my original 'just the one'...3 new chapters outlined; 5 calls made; 2 meetings attended; 1 social gathering attended; email read & responded to; 1 very odd journey home having laughed out [very] loud at my book on many occasions and then realising I wasn't the only person in the carriage. :0)

Friday - The Kid's music class and this week he emerged as star pupil due to his innate ability to 'bop' like a home boy whilst clapping furiously and, for the most part, totally in time to the music.  He was so immersed in the class that he only twice realised I was sitting beside him on the floor.  If I'd only thought to take MacBook with me I could have done a bit of writing. The only foot stomping occurred when the bubbles stopped and apparently the teacher felt so awful looking at his big, sad eyes, she carried on with the bubbles for a while longer, just for him.  I fear a future actor and/or muso in the making.  Either that or a Dictator...3 pages written (somehow); 0 calls made; all email read; 1 very proud mum.

Saturday - Amidst all the very tedious household stuff that has to be undertaken every weekend, I noted that Zone Horror have "Cut! The 2008 Horror Short Film Competition" running.  This is sponsored by C4's Fright Fest  and is worth up to £5k in winnings for a 2 minute film.  Closing date for entries is Friday 13th (!) June 2008 - so all you genre-istas out there - get going!  0 pages written; 2 chapters outlined; 0 calls made; 0 emails answered; 1 very domesticated-out mum.

Sunday - hasn't passed yet.  Anything could happen...may check emails.

And breathe.

2008 - Take No Prisoners

Here's one I wrote earlier...the 1st of January to be precise.  And forgot to publish it.  Ho hum. Back soon with more of an update.  Promise.

And there it went. Ta-ra to 2007; ay-oop to 2008.

Not sure what you all did but I spent most of the 'celebrations' mopping snot dribbling from The Kid's nose, cursing the fireworks that woke him up from his boy-flu-induced slumber, rocking him back to sleep in one arm whilst transferring the millionth file from Old Slaptop to New MacBook. Hours of fun still to have but I need to purchase a few bits of software so I can actually do things. Hours of fun, like I said.  Ah, yes, those will be the hours I don't really have to waste...

Well, whatever 2007 left you with, may 2008 only expand and improve.  Unless it was an STD - in which case I don't wish for your sake it expands, just improves.  

Werds I Wish I'd Writ

I have just written an email stating my blog was 'a bit out of date': I hang my head in shame. I hadn't realised how out of date. Man, 'Tenacious Me' was starting to look like the pack of pitta bread I found at the back of my bread bin earlier on today - but at least the blog doesn't have the same mouldy aroma though. Not unless you have a scratch and sniff screen. And if you do, well...oh, never mind.

I digress.

Unusual for me.

Anyway.

The title of this post lends itself to a thought I had earlier in the week: if I could have written anything this year, what would it have been?

I had a long chance to ponder on this whilst stuck on my local ringroad due to:

1) Sheer volume of diverted traffic from the whole of London and the South East;
2) Traffic lanes shut due to the council lopping tree branches - WTF?;
3) Xmas shoppers hell-bent on 'ring-road-lane-rage' (which comes before 'parking-space-rage' and 'I-must-buy-everything-in-the-mall-rage)
and finally, my year round favourite:
4) Traffic signals that are totally out of synch for 2 miles

So, there I was - understandably for a while - running through all the totally brilliant pieces of writing I have heard/seen over the year. I managed to bottom out my top five and, as if by magic, a little ditty started playing on the radio. Then I realised, THIS is what I wished I had written. OK, it was released on their 2005 album, "All the Right Reasons", but hey. Call me simplistic, it kicks ass. Lyrics to laugh to. And then nod.

"Rockstar" by Nickelback
I'm through with standin' in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me
(Yeah, so tell what you need)

I'll need a...a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
--(Been there done that)--

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[CHORUS]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And well...

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, ha ha)

I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
From a Pez dispenser

Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

Every time I hear it/see the video, it makes me smile. Hell, it makes me laugh out loud. Loving it. What a perfect take on today's 'cul-cha'. So, what would your "perfect piece of literary '07" have been?

I bid you all a very pretty, Victorian picture card Christmas.

Mwah, mwah, Sweetie.