Shiny Sunny Daffodils

Dum-de-dum-de-dum

Oh, hello - didn't see you peeking over the garden gate.  Isn't our weather delightful at the moment? I've almost got a blush of a tan across my newly-freckled cheeks, or perhaps I am just a little warm?

So, here I am - officially a year older and most definitely a year wiser, of course.  I absolutely detest the month running up to my Birthday - I have no idea why, I just do - so much so, this is the time of year I normally go away to some high mountain ranges and carve up some serious snow. However, due to many commitments this year, unless I get a sneaky weekend in very soon, there will be no ski thigh burn for me this year.  I shall just have to attend the gym far more instead. 

Talking of the gym, whilst (apparently) undertaking my best Lara Croft impression on the treadmill (you know I've never heard that one before...), I came upon a brand new idea for a web-based project. Early, early days yet, but very exciting all the same. It could actually work and it made me run even faster. I skipped home with glee and jotted down the idea, closely followed by a short story for a competition. I like the gym effect, me.  Not quite as succinct as the ski effect, but good all the same.

So, had a long, leisurely lunch with the exquisite Spencer yesterday to discuss our very early pre-pre-production plans for "Carver" teaser trailer and finance avenues for the feature. All very exciting - well it must have been, as the basic gossip subject matter managed a mere 260-odd comments on Facebook.  Fancy that, eh?  I love a good horror flick, me. Arf.

Other than that, there's a sense of calm before stormy-ness, which is fine as I have a few more planting beds to turn over in the warmth of the sunshine.  

Right, better be off as I have to be at Heathrow for 06:00 tomorrow.  Milan here I come.  If only.

Onwards.

Wrath of the Edit Suite

A friend just emailed me this and I had to share it with you all.  Quite the best laugh I've had a for a while.  ;)

Working Girl

I'm beginning to believe I live a very surreal life.  Scrub that.  I do live a very surreal life.  Take the previous day as an example.  

In the last 24 hours I have interviewed Kris Marshall, Robert Webb, Ella Smith, Neil LaBute, Joanna Page (I also competed with her for oxygen stakes due to similar high levels of hyperactivity), chatted to Alison Steadman, Gok Wan, Ruth Jones & Mackenzie Crook to name but a few, nodded a 'smiley nod' or two to the very kind paps who let me stick my microphone into their pics, arrived home in one piece, managed around 4 solid hours' sleep, then proceeded to wipe/pick weetabix/scrambled egg/bread/milk off my clothes/out of my hair at various intervals, moments of which were also interspersed with changing nappies and cleaning up fur balls.  Confused?  Hell, I hardly know where I'm at these days, let alone you.

Let me explain.  It's all down to my new 'job' - at least the interviews and chats are, not necessarily the food/nappy/fur ball stuff which are all down to The Kid and Cat respectively - at least I think it was in that order.  I digress.  Anyway, I am now presenting & interviewing for Theatre 24/7, an online theatre channel who cover previews/premieres of West End musicals and plays.  

So, after 'Marguerite' last week, last night was the turn of 'Fat Pig', written and directed by Neil LaBute and the second in his trilogy of plays.  There was certainly a clutch of hardcore crits there last night so I'm sure the reviews will be going to press soon (if not already).  Personally I really enjoyed the show - funny but uncomfortable, self-conscious but brazen - however, I'm not the critic here, just the talky girl. All I'll say is go see it for some terrific writing and classic performances.

And on that note, I'm now going to put in a classic performance of a person sleeping heavily. Not like a baby, I'll add - whoever coined that phrase should be shot.  Or given a baby to look after for a night or so.

Until next time.

Working 9 til 5...I wish

And breathe.

A whirlwind of occurrences, that's the life I lead.  Well, only sometimes these days, anyway.

The week went something like this:

Monday - The Kid was still not very well having just parted company with a sicky, coldy bug but still managed to soldier on through his 8 month check up with The Health Visitor.  He smiled at all the right things, burped loudly followed by a bellow of giggles, frowned when The Health Visitor tickled him under the chin, bobbed up and down to imaginary music and clapped on demand, and then when he got bored he chewed his shoe and farted. I then dropped him off at nursery whilst I headed home to try and get some work done.  It's amazing when you are writing how quickly nursery/school pick up time comes round...6 pages written; 9 calls made; 7 emails responded to.

Tuesday - The Kid took a backwards step in his recovery.  All plans - blown out.  Spent day with ass hovering over sofa, wishing I could just sit down for two seconds without mopping up snot, puke or rocking back and forth...0 pages written; 0 calls made; 0 emails read let alone responded to.

Wednesday - The Kid made a fantastically remarkable recovery and had so much energy all day I bit the bullet and decided to take him to his swimming class.  After a hard hour in the gym I dashed home to make a few calls whilst my Mum was still enthralled with her Grandson.  Perfick...0 pages written; 4 calls made; all emails read; 1 child knackered after a hard swim.

Thursday - first of all, thanks must go to the most courteous Mark for organising another little Blogette/Facebook get-together.  Yet again, a  very enjoyable afternoon which - horror of horrors - turned into an early evening minus child for me.  My system was so shocked by the lack of The Kid's bathtime "splash-splash", the fight to get him into his sleep suit afterwards and then the gentle prodding to keep him awake for his bottle, that I felt the need to consume more than my original 'just the one'...3 new chapters outlined; 5 calls made; 2 meetings attended; 1 social gathering attended; email read & responded to; 1 very odd journey home having laughed out [very] loud at my book on many occasions and then realising I wasn't the only person in the carriage. :0)

Friday - The Kid's music class and this week he emerged as star pupil due to his innate ability to 'bop' like a home boy whilst clapping furiously and, for the most part, totally in time to the music.  He was so immersed in the class that he only twice realised I was sitting beside him on the floor.  If I'd only thought to take MacBook with me I could have done a bit of writing. The only foot stomping occurred when the bubbles stopped and apparently the teacher felt so awful looking at his big, sad eyes, she carried on with the bubbles for a while longer, just for him.  I fear a future actor and/or muso in the making.  Either that or a Dictator...3 pages written (somehow); 0 calls made; all email read; 1 very proud mum.

Saturday - Amidst all the very tedious household stuff that has to be undertaken every weekend, I noted that Zone Horror have "Cut! The 2008 Horror Short Film Competition" running.  This is sponsored by C4's Fright Fest  and is worth up to £5k in winnings for a 2 minute film.  Closing date for entries is Friday 13th (!) June 2008 - so all you genre-istas out there - get going!  0 pages written; 2 chapters outlined; 0 calls made; 0 emails answered; 1 very domesticated-out mum.

Sunday - hasn't passed yet.  Anything could happen...may check emails.

And breathe.

Whoosh...

And there goes another week. It's been a mighty busy few days or so.

I'm glad to say the short script is done, dusted and gone to the BSSC (many thanks to those who offered to read on the 'next' round on Pof3 but it was pretty much 'there'-ish - I will, of course, impose something else on you three in the not too distant future!), and much to my delight, the V+ Box seems to have had a word with itself and stopped turning everyone on TV a lighter shade of alien. It's always quite nice when technology sorts itself out.

On the other hand, I have been living in a bit of a bubble for the last few days and have not had the labotomy which would enable me to watch any BB on the aforementioned technology. But to top off all that bubble living, I have been having some major weird aches and pains which would suggest that The Kid is imminently about to make an appearance in the world - so, get the cyberchampers on ice, guys and gals.

This coming weekend is not only D-Day for me and The Kid, but it also features the most courses/masterclasses to be held over a few days, than I have ever heard of in my entire life.

If you are attending Adrian Mead's bound-to-be-brilliant course, "The Long Distance Screen Writer" or Paul Ashton's appearance & talk at the Women Writer's Network, or Vogler's "The Writer's Journey", or Living Spirit's "Making it in Hollywood", or Rona Munro's "Writing, A Survival Guide", or Channel 4's "Four Days in June" (although, strictly speaking this is on next week), then please do post a comment here or a link back to your blog so all those afflicted with the wretched scourge, "cannotmakeit-itis", can read about the fantastic day/days the panacea-discovering rest of you had.

Looking ahead to TV this weekend (and programmed into my V+ in case I go into labour - that would be typical), the first part of Danny Brocklehurst's much anticipated "Talk To Me" starts at 21:30, Sunday 10th June, ITV. You can read how the series came about here and more about the man himself, here. I'm hoping it's going to be a good one to watch.

Right, I'm off to play with the baby monitor or something.

Pirates of the Caribbean 3

**Mini Spoiler Alert**

"A new overseas opening record of $214 million was set by Disney international distributor Buena Vista International as "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" blasted off on 17,500 screens in 102 territories over the weekend." Hollywood Reporter International

That's a lot of non-U.S. bums on seats and a serious wad of non-U.S. moolah, but with a budget in the region of approx. USD300million, I bet there are some happy execs puffing on cigars today.

Congratulatory news aside, I'm afraid I am still not clear on what it was really about. I made some very brief notes on my popcorn carton which stated:

- Opens like "Oliver!". But where's Fagin?
- Kid slips into song - more "Oliver!" - may break into rendition of "Where is Love?"
- The tedious parts of "The Two Towers" meets epic vistas of "Troy"
- Dialogue moments of "Spartacus"; but Barbossa (Rush)...trying out a bit of "Dirty Harry"?
- For those who didn't know Keith Richards - he had a guitar identifier. Subtle.

All in all, I am sure the kids will love it. I am not going to attempt to trawl through the entire story as my head still hurts thinking about it - and also that would spoil the confusion for anyone off to see it themselves. Keira does her pouts beautifully, Orlando does Errol beautifully, Johnny does Johnny beautifully and overall, the performances are a sterling piece of work. Just thank god they don't all do each other. I would have just given up and gone home.

The cinematography is fantastic, the sound is great - it's just...wtf is it about? What was the plot - actually I'm not sure which plot I mean. Half way through (we had a convenient 10 minute break in our screening...) I turned to The Glenster and asked him "What exactly is this film, about?". He looked at me like I was a nutter (probably wondering if I had forgotten I had seen the other two films) and then shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Pirates?" Mmmmmm. Dunno, indeed.

At one point in the movie Captain Jack 'Sparra' (Depp) swings from the mast of one ship to another. The line of dialogue following is, ”Do you think he plans it all or just makes it up as he goes along?". He may as well have - and so might the rest of the cast in a film where, if they stood still long enough, they too would have been CGI'd to Hell - or World's End - whichever came first.

And having given up nearly three hours of my life, I fear the latter is quite possibly far worse.

Calling Time

Today, I saw "Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Hours: At The End of My Tether" - I mean - "Part 3: At World's End ". I am so CGI-d out I will have to consider overnight what the film was actually about before I can commit any words to screen tomorrow.

To round up a very 'being' weekend and to ease you gently into the post Bank Holiday working week, here is that little, plaster-dusted down poem, "Calling Time", as mentioned in this post. It is about obsessively trying to control time (but time is actually controlling you) and then being able to laugh at yourself regardless. I hope you like it.

As I get older, and the days become shorter
The weeks seem to fly by, months ain't what they oughtta.
No longer in bed, passing hours do I lie,
For fear of a year that flits past my heavy eye.

So, alert I must be, checking last night's long list
Of 'things to do', in case today, I should miss
The opportunity of a lifetime thus presenting itself
In the guise of necessity wrapped up in sheer wealth.

And tonight I will ponder my day so spry
I'll audit the calendar, check a year hasn't gone by
During the whisper of an eyelash, as you never do know
When a decade or a lifetime may surely go.

Lara Greenway 2007

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Yesterday, I was reminded of the story Richard Ashcroft's total loss of composer credits on The Verve's, 'Bitter Sweet Symphony'. That string-based loop was sampled from an orchestral rendition of The Stones' song, 'Last Foundation', and hence all royalties go to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. What a complete bummer; bittersweet indeed. (More about it here)

But hang on a darn minuette...what about all those late 80s, early 90s hip-hop tracks which sampled everything but the butter on my toast? Did they all get stung or did they just grope their groins, threaten in a BoyzindaHood type stylee and get the decks up and running again?

Imagine writing a brilliant song like that and then someone claims it's actually theirs? Imagine writing a massive, brilliant outline/show format and then some smart ass claims they thought of it first - oh, hang on, been there - but I now view it as a compliment without the payoff. Anyway, moving onwards, or rather backwards. Picture the scene if you will...

There is a movie being made of your life and some darn fine actors are playing you and yours. Answer the following:

What would be:
1) The closing credits theme tune?
2) The stand-out line from the movie? The one everyone quotes.

Trust me, this is a really interesting exercise - please share your thoughts amongst friends! The narcissistic amongst us will already have their answers - hell, I do. LOL ;)

BAFTA Television Awards - Part 3

Another sterling quote from last night's BAFTAs.

"All that matters is the script, the script, the script" Sita Williams, Exec Producer "The Street" - Winner of Drama Series, British Academy TV Awards 2007

This morning, I received an email from "A Friend" informing me that my previous post containing the BAFTA winners was ever so slightly anal as I probably had all the results up before BAFTA did.

And?

I like the awards ceremonies, y'see, and I find they are always worthwhile attending - not to mention the laughs to be had at the 'aftershow' parties! I normally do try and get to both the Film and TV BAFTAs but bailed on both occasions this year - last night's, because I couldn't find a pretty enough tent to swathe myself in. Hey ho, there's always next year, and if I am lucky I'll make one of them without baby puke down my frock.


That is, of course, if I ever manage to get into a nice outfit again - after 6,000 complaints, Mars have withdrawn their intention to use rennet in their chocolate and ice cream and so will remain vegetarian. I was really relying on their use of rennet to put me off eating their products thus helping me battle the post baby bits.


Ah, well, I have a little while before I need to think about renting a perma-space in the gym.

BAFTA Television Awards - Part 1

"Love your writers as much as your partners, children and pets. All hail to those who face the blank page every day." Andy Harries, British Academy TV Awards, 2007.

All hail to Andy Harries - congratulations and excuse me if they're not your exact words!

Oh, where to go, what to do...

"I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by" Douglas Adams.

For those of you London-tied and not able to make "The Long Distance Screen Writer" course (Edinburgh, 9th June) run by the brilliant Adrian Mead, or are not attending Christopher Vogler's "The Writer's Journey" (9th & 10th June, run by Raindance), those nice folks at Living Spirit (Ealing Studios) are running a one day masterclass entitled "Making it in Hollywood" (10th June) aimed at directors, producers and writers. They are also chucking in a FREE copy of "The Guerilla Film Makers Hollywood Handbook" (worth £30) if you book and pay by this Sunday (20th).

If you aren't sure about this course or if you are just curious, Living Spirit are sending a free pdf interview with British Producer Jeremy Bolt to those who email a request to office*at*livingspirit*dot*com

If, like me you can't make any of these courses because...
a) they are all taking place on the same weekend, and
b) one of those days just happens to be the day on which your baby is due

...then just sulk.

Me and Red Pen are off to do some serious damage in shortscriptland. Have a great weekend all.