Friday, December 14, 2007

Werds I Wish I'd Writ

I have just written an email stating my blog was 'a bit out of date': I hang my head in shame. I hadn't realised how out of date. Man, 'Tenacious Me' was starting to look like the pack of pitta bread I found at the back of my bread bin earlier on today - but at least the blog doesn't have the same mouldy aroma though. Not unless you have a scratch and sniff screen. And if you do, well...oh, never mind.

I digress.

Unusual for me.

Anyway.

The title of this post lends itself to a thought I had earlier in the week: if I could have written anything this year, what would it have been?

I had a long chance to ponder on this whilst stuck on my local ringroad due to:

1) Sheer volume of diverted traffic from the whole of London and the South East;
2) Traffic lanes shut due to the council lopping tree branches - WTF?;
3) Xmas shoppers hell-bent on 'ring-road-lane-rage' (which comes before 'parking-space-rage' and 'I-must-buy-everything-in-the-mall-rage)
and finally, my year round favourite:
4) Traffic signals that are totally out of synch for 2 miles

So, there I was - understandably for a while - running through all the totally brilliant pieces of writing I have heard/seen over the year. I managed to bottom out my top five and, as if by magic, a little ditty started playing on the radio. Then I realised, THIS is what I wished I had written. OK, it was released on their 2005 album, "All the Right Reasons", but hey. Call me simplistic, it kicks ass. Lyrics to laugh to. And then nod.

"Rockstar" by Nickelback
I'm through with standin' in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me
(Yeah, so tell what you need)

I'll need a...a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
--(Been there done that)--

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[CHORUS]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And well...

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, ha ha)

I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
From a Pez dispenser

Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

Every time I hear it/see the video, it makes me smile. Hell, it makes me laugh out loud. Loving it. What a perfect take on today's 'cul-cha'. So, what would your "perfect piece of literary '07" have been?

I bid you all a very pretty, Victorian picture card Christmas.

Mwah, mwah, Sweetie.


Thursday, November 08, 2007

Heroes...

...of the Scribe Strike. No matter which side of the fence you fall, you've gotta laugh at this. Splendid fun.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Oh Guys...

Judging by the comments and emails I have received since my recent post: it's great to be missed!

Honestly guys & gals: eaten by cats, lost in 'Lost', rewriting 'War and Peace', run away with a sexy paediatrician, still giving birth? Just to explain - this is exactly what takes up all my living, breathing and [lack of] sleeping hours at the moment...

One, two, three....ahhhh. [Bucket please...]


BSSC - Any luck?

So, we didn't win the rugby, football, Grand Prix or much else since my last post. I however, have been extremely busy. Not necessarily winning, but at least I've been getting on top of it all...

The Kid is growing up fast & furious - that's to say he's growing quickly, not in a fast or furious manner, or even remotely like any character in the movie of the same name. I have recently been sourcing & checking out nurseries for him to attend part-time in January as it looks as though there may be a long term contract on the horizon for me. Good-eee. More about that at a later date though - not talking details until it's signed, sealed and delivered. ;)

So, what's been happening out there? I see the BSSC finalists have been announced - has anyone I know been lucky?

I hope to be back to regular blogging sooner rather than later...ever hopeful!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Spot of Rugger, anyone?

Dear France,

Although I carve up your snow, enjoy your food and take in your stunning Alpine vistas, at this point I'm afraid I only have one statement to make:

9-14

Just in case you misunderstood: That's 9 to you . 14 to us.

GO ON, ENGERLAND!!!!!!! WELL DONE, LADS!!!! ;)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My goodness...

I have tried my hardest - and usually failed - to keep up to date with everyone else's blogs, but from what I have read, it looks like everyone has been really busy in cyberscribospace. I deeply apologise for the extreme lack of updates from this end. I am still alive - I think.

It's been manic. A learning curve. A waking nightmare. A total headf***. But he's gorgeous all the same. However, I have discovered the perils of having a baby - he has a social diary like I have never, ever had myself:

Monday - 'rest day' [i.e. yoga with Mummy, playmat with Mummy, singing with Mummy, repeatedly making silly noises with Mummy, sensory book time with Mummy, shopping with Mummy, cleaning with Mummy, hanging out the washing with Mummy, gardening with Mummy, "This Morning" with Phillip & Fern (and Mummy).]
Tuesday - Massage class (Baby Massage, of course)
Wednesday - Swimming class
Thursday - ante-natal mates coffee & cakes/general moan session/babies all cry together etc
Friday - Music class

Other times are taken up with the 'rest day' agenda - all of which are carried out in five minute intervals as The Kid doesn't have much patience beyond that. Notice I have dropped the Colic from his name? Well, he still suffers but it's mainly reflux-related. At one point, after a fairly terrible day of chaos everywhere we went, I christened him The 'Colic, Reflux And Pandemonium' Kid. However, I fear sticking to that acronym would create an unfair tag for his future, methinks.

At our Baby Massage class the other day, The Mothers were discussing when they were planning on going back to work: January for some, May for others, the rest in between. The thing is, I don't feel as though I have stopped to be honest. I have a little notebook next to my bed which is full of feed times, feed amounts, reflux times and nappy contents - the description that is, not the actual contents. At the other end of the aforementioned notebook, however, are pages and pages of one-liners, character notes, vague and not-so-vague story outlines, random ideas, snippets of dialogue, great 'newly discovered' words to use and a complete outline for a book which is, as I type, like my boy, in it's early infancy. There was some sort of method in my midnight madness when I decided to keep both in the same notebook - there is no way in the world I would lose the Sh*t, Eat and Sleep Log, so there's no way to lose the writing notes either. Smart l'il me. I also generally have a spare dummy attached to my mobile or purse these days. Ditto, not losing either. I always know where the dummy is.

So, The Kid - he's good. Looks more like a two year old, has been randomly teething for a month now, has a false 'look at me NOW!' cry, laughs uncontrollably at me when he wakes during the night (really not funny...) is desperately trying to walk, has a favourite toy he named Bebo, has finished his third PhD and probably logs into Facebook when I'm not watching. I have some great new photos, some of which I will upload soon for all the cyberaunts and uncs to see - I'm just waiting for his replica cover of Nirvana's 'Nevermind' to arrive. He is quite taken with TV - the little guy really knows what he likes - but I fear he may end up the youngest ever Daytime TV Controller. Now, don't get me wrong, he liked Ruth and Eamonn over the summer but as soon as he heard Phillip and Fern's voices again after their return from summer break, his little face lit up.

You know, coming to think of it, maybe he didn't shout "Bebo" at his toy all those weeks ago. Perhaps it was BBC?

Hope you're all well.

Friday, August 31, 2007

BSSC - Round 2

Well, must admit, that has surprised me...I didn't get through to the next round...did you?

Now, please let me explain before you suspect I am all big headed and think I'm brillo-dillo etc. The script I submitted this year for the BSSC was far, far stronger than last year's submission...and they're not necessarily my words - but - it's all good, believe it or not! Why? Because I don't need to hand over my copyright to two shorts I really wanted to direct myself...See? There's always a reason.

So, how y'all doin' out there, anyway? And very heartfelt Congrats to those who got through into the next round - well done, me hearties! May you triumph over them all!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Oh dear...

Well, if it was a long time before, then it's a whole lifetime ago now. My last update, that is.

Up to my toots in dirty nappies and winning the tally on arguments with everyone in the medical profession - yep, that's me. I have been delicately informed that this first child of mine has been a "baptism of fire" and "the next one will be so much easier - you wait and see". Yeah, well folks, you can wait and wait and wait cos The Colic Kid is The One and Only as far as I am concerned. Far too much hassle and worry, these little sick uns.

ANYWAY. Moving on.

Whilst I was sleeping (in blogland perhaps; in reality - I just wish), I was tagged with a meme by that lurvly Bishop man...however, anything that requires more than 2 minutes of my time (apart from sh*tty nappies, my bed covered in baby puke at 4am and a cat disgruntled 24/7 by the lack of sleep...shame...) will have to wait a tiny little bit. Perhaps over the Bank Holiday weekend I will have five minutes to consider this little meme.

In the meantime...VIRGIN MEDIA! WHY IS MY F*ING TV SERVICE NOT WORKING - AGAIN - YOU BUNCH OF MONEY STEALING, INADEQUATE, RIP OFF SHYSTERS?

Ahem...my son is most irate at the lack of Teletubbies and I am most annoyed at anything that makes my son irate...you know, anything for an easier life...like knee caps. Comprendez? Good.

Lost the plot. Again. Til the next time: have a good Bank Hols one and all. Mwah, mwah.

x

Thursday, August 02, 2007

BSSC - Round 1

Well, it's been a bit of along time again...

Many thanks to Lucy who very kindly informed me that I have got through the first round of the British Short Screenplay Competition! Y'see, as a Mum of two, she completely knows where I am at the moment with regards to an incredible lack of cybertime - and lack of real time, come to think of it.

Well done to Lucy too, as she has also got through and many congratulations to all fellow bloggers (such as Jason and Elinor) who also got through the 1st round! Anyone else? Let me know!

The Colic Kid has been taking up far too much of my time recently. Apart from the dirty nappies (he cries as soon as he's got a dirty one and for the second time he managed to fart a poo at me during a 4am nappy change), reflux vomiting (like a fountain), vinegar breath (acid smell from the reflux), constant feeds (it eases the reflux) and colicky episodes, he is a delight. He's smiling loads, giggling, trying to say 'Hello', copies me waving, lifts his hands and arms to be picked up, loves Teletubbies and the juggling Specsavers advert, looks as though he'll be crawling soon, tries to sit up by himself and is just about to embark on his first PhD - ok, maybe not that, but he's pretty smart all the same.

Anyway, got to dash as that's my cybertime up. The Colic Kid has just finished an equation and needs his next bottle...

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Well, well, well.

Oh jeez, it's been a long time since I posted last. Where the f*%* did those weeks go? I'll tell ya where...

Well, first of all - in a chain of stranger than the strangest of strange events - something mightily odd happened. I got a phonecall, completely out of the blue, from a friend of a friend who also happens to be an Exec Producer. Small talk aside (I haven't seen him for a year), we then get down to the nitty gritty of his call - would I be interested in meeting up with An Associate Of His to discuss being part of a writing team on a new co-pro ongoing drama destined for ITV? Bemused by everything he's said, I agreed a coffee and a chat would very much be in order, and we arranged a meeting for the very next day.

Next morning, the sun was shining, the barista got my order right, the tubes ran like a dream, and I toddled into Soho with loads of time to chill and check my 'scribefolio', but still a little perplexed by how my name had entered the Execs' radar.

Then they arrived: Blackberrys in one hand, linen jackets in the other; we did the whole Mwah Mwah thing (I really miss that) and got down to business. So, it turns out I gave a really great off the cuff pitch a year or so ago to Exec Producer (I don't really remember it to be honest) and then very heavily voiced my opinion on the lack of US-style writing teams in the UK, and purely based on that plus an early spec script, they wanted my input and attachment to their Project.

We discussed the recent bout of dramas including 'Talk to Me' (which I ended up luuuuving) "True Dare Kiss" , "Cape Wrath" , "Dirt" and "Jekyll" and then they filled me in on all the pros and cons of the Project - which is absolutely brilliant, I tell you. Well, if that wasn't all gobsmackingly fab enough, they were actually looking for a verbal commitment there and then when my mobile rang, but being in a meeting of such excitement I obviously switched the call to voicemail. To cut all the boring contractual bits out, Exec went to the loo and Associate went to get more coffee in - and I checked my voicemail. What I heard was just beyond belief.

An old colleague friend of mine had left a message telling me his kids' TV series - for which I had written a spec script or two - had now been signed and greenlighted (green lit??) and he wanted me to pen 6 Eps. I mean, can you believe it? Was I having a dream day or what? Forty eight hours later I am signing two fantastic contracts and Exec Producer is asking me to pitch "a few more ideas" in a couple of weeks.

Wow.

All that, plus a month old baby who cries for 75% of each day due to the reflux and colic he's had since the day he was born. And if you believe any of the [work stuff] above I'm a better writer than I feel at the moment...

Sorry if you felt a little envious - but there really was no need. I lied. Big fat lies. I mean, come on - when do the tubes all run on time AND a barista gets your order right? I had to have a laugh somehow as the mass sleep deprivation is really getting to me...

Plus, if thetvcontroller can do it...

;)



Monday, June 25, 2007

The Vulcan Is Amongst Us

Thanks for all the lovely messages and emails, cyber-aunts & cyber-uncs! Wow, I'm tired - but on the brighter side, 22lbs lighter. Still a way to go before I can get back into those size 8s, but never mind, I guess I have a good excuse. I tell you - forget the all night (re)writing sessions - they've got nothing on this motherhood malarkey.

I can't believe The Kid is nearly two weeks old; I can't believe how long it seems, but on the otherhand, how it has flown; more to the point, I can't believe The Glenster is going back to work this week and leaving me to deal with this bundle all on my lonesome. Very scary indeed. Could be a while before I am back in Blogland properly - purely based on the sheer amount of washing this little bundle of joy has created so far. And let's not go near the sleep deprivation discussion.

So, a quick response to all your lovely comments:
Good Dog - Thanks mate but no, he's not letting me have ANY sleep (or so it seems)
Lucy - Aaahhhh, truck on the inside - yes, and roadkill on the inside too and please do update me on the social when arranged.
Jason - Those much referred to mittens were to stop his Freddy slasher mode - very sharp nails!
Lianne - He's well - I'm just totally in a daze!
Pots - Yours for a tenner...shall I send him to California? ;)
Pillock - Yeah, he's not too bad really - he's his Daddy's double!
Far Away - I thank you!
David Bishop - You should have seen the right hook he gave The Midwife Who Came Too Close ;)
Dom Carver - All I can say is: Get. Some. Sleep. Now.

Ok, better get back to Mother-like duties...but first, here's one to embarrass The Kid on his eighteenth...and like most good Vulcans, he's having a telepathic moment.













Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Kid Arrived...

This will be a very short post as I am suffering from sleep, humour and common sense deprivation - as a few of you may have guessed, my lack updates has been due to the arrival of The Kid - and luckily for me it was before my induction was due. I am taking a little maternity leave for the next couple of weeks, but I will be dropping by here and there.

So, the gruesome details? You don't want to know. "Hit by a truck" was Lucy's description - I reckon "roadkill on the M25 in Friday rush hour" more suitable.

So, bloggite cyber-aunts and uncles, I would ask you to welcome into the world Callum James, my little boy, born 09:42, Tuesday 12th June 2007.

Let the celebrations begin...just wait a week or so before opening the really expensive champers please - I'd love a glass.


Monday, June 11, 2007

Still Here...

Just a very quick update for all those passing by after their busy weekends: The Kid has not made it's appearance yet. Very annoying that, especially having to forego all those lovely courses - I should have booked on one regardless and that would have guaranteed an arrival without a doubt.

I spent the weekend feeling not particularly great - slightly worse than during the week - so it can't be far off. Just need this little sod to come along before Induction Day...which is now tomorrow night. Urgh. Scared.

Good Dog pointed out to me that Stephen Merchant is sitting around doing bugger all according to Variety. Well, I'm sure he'll be relieved to know he's not the only one...

But at least I got to see the first part of "Talk to Me" last night - think I'll have to wait and see how it pans out before throwing down the gauntlet though. I just want to know how Beesley's tackle managed not to make a special appearance of it's own at that acute horizontal angle. Toupe tape, strapping, cgi - I have seen them all used in the past, but there seemed to be a lot more on show than those items would normally allow.

Meanwhile, Lucy, the cheeky little dynamo, has already posted the first of her notes from Adrian Mead's fab course held in Edinburgh over the weekend.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Rantings & Ratings

Here's a little something from "Variety" this week - I found it mildly amusing.

"WRITER-PERFORMERS STAGE BALANCING ACTS
Hyphenates add fresh take to genres


In Britain, where a "season" of a show might easily be six carefully crafted episodes, it's commonplace to see a Ricky Gervais write every script and star in every episode. American TV, though, with its 20-plus episode seasons, has long adopted a tidy assembly-line approach: Writers work in the writers' room, actors on the set."

The report then carries on to state there is a whole new clutch of writer-performers in the U.S. battling away the hours both on set and in the writers' room - but the general worry is the length of day they work esentially doing two jobs...although, the outcome is proving good, regardless.


Well, after years of us being successful multi-talented multi-taskers, I am sure once the U.S. have got the hang of the UK-style, they'll be fine. Bless.

Other things to have caught my attention this week, other than the fact The Kid hasn't made an appearance yet?

I see the Ch4 documentary on Diana failed abysmally in it's 'mass ratings coup'. Whilst 6.2 million watched Surallan do his stuff on "The Apprentice", 3.8 million tuned in to watch "Diana - the Witness in the Tunnel" - not too bad, but I bet they were hoping for more - and they only received 2000 complaints - most of which were received before the programme went to air. That makes it alright then.

Did anyone really believe the documentary was going to reveal the real truth behind it all? Guys, there are some things we will never know. Ever. End of. And you can take that as you read it - conspiratorial, fait a complis, whichever.

And finally, last night's "Big Brother" managed to convince 4.6m to tune in to see the much publicised racist slur. What more can I say?

Pass me that self-labotomy kit - or a ticket to the U.S.



Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Whoosh...


And there goes another week. It's been a mighty busy few days or so.

I'm glad to say the
short script is done, dusted and gone to the BSSC (many thanks to those who offered to read on the 'next' round on Pof3 but it was pretty much 'there'-ish - I will, of course, impose something else on you three in the not too distant future!), and much to my delight, the V+ Box seems to have had a word with itself and stopped turning everyone on TV a lighter shade of alien. It's always quite nice when technology sorts itself out.

On the other hand, I have been living in a bit of a bubble for the last few days and have not had the labotomy which would enable me to watch any BB on the aforementioned technology. But to top off all that bubble living, I have been having some major weird aches and pains which would suggest that The Kid is imminently about to make an appearance in the world - so, get the cyberchampers on ice, guys and gals.

This coming weekend is not only D-Day for me and The Kid, but it also features the most courses/masterclasses to be held over a few days, than I have ever heard of in my entire life.

If you are attending
Adrian Mead's bound-to-be-brilliant course, "The Long Distance Screen Writer" or Paul Ashton's appearance & talk at the Women Writer's Network, or Vogler's "The Writer's Journey", or Living Spirit's "Making it in Hollywood", or Rona Munro's "Writing, A Survival Guide", or Channel 4's "Four Days in June" (although, strictly speaking this is on next week), then please do post a comment here or a link back to your blog so all those afflicted with the wretched scourge, "cannotmakeit-itis", can read about the fantastic day/days the panacea-discovering rest of you had.

Looking ahead to TV this weekend (and programmed into my V+ in case I go into labour - that would be typical), the first part of Danny Brocklehurst's much anticipated "Talk To Me" starts at 21:30, Sunday 10th June, ITV. You can read how the series came about here and more about the man himself, here. I'm hoping it's going to be a good one to watch.

Right, I'm off to play with the baby monitor or something.



Thursday, May 31, 2007

Girl, Interrupted

I apologise for the lack of entries, but normal service will resume fairly shortly.

That is, after my BSSC short has completed and posted itself; after the V+ box stops turning my new TV picture green; after my back has stopped aching so much I can use my laptop for more than 5 minutes; after my successful labotomy which will allow me to watch Channel 4 after 8pm; after I stop moaning - no, I won't take that long.

I thank you.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean 3

**Mini Spoiler Alert**

"A new overseas opening record of $214 million was set by Disney international distributor Buena Vista International as "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" blasted off on 17,500 screens in 102 territories over the weekend." Hollywood Reporter International

That's a lot of non-U.S. bums on seats and a serious wad of non-U.S. moolah, but with a budget in the region of approx. USD300million, I bet there are some happy execs puffing on cigars today.

Congratulatory news aside, I'm afraid I am still not clear on what it was really about. I made some very brief notes on my popcorn carton which stated:

- Opens like "Oliver!". But where's Fagin?
- Kid slips into song - more "Oliver!" - may break into rendition of "Where is Love?"
- The tedious parts of "The Two Towers" meets epic vistas of "Troy"
- Dialogue moments of "Spartacus"; but Barbossa (Rush)...trying out a bit of "Dirty Harry"?
- For those who didn't know Keith Richards - he had a guitar identifier. Subtle.

All in all, I am sure the kids will love it. I am not going to attempt to trawl through the entire story as my head still hurts thinking about it - and also that would spoil the confusion for anyone off to see it themselves. Keira does her pouts beautifully, Orlando does Errol beautifully, Johnny does Johnny beautifully and overall, the performances are a sterling piece of work. Just thank god they don't all do each other. I would have just given up and gone home.

The cinematography is fantastic, the sound is great - it's just...wtf is it about? What was the plot - actually I'm not sure which plot I mean. Half way through (we had a convenient 10 minute break in our screening...) I turned to The Glenster and asked him "What exactly is this film, about?". He looked at me like I was a nutter (probably wondering if I had forgotten I had seen the other two films) and then shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Pirates?" Mmmmmm. Dunno, indeed.

At one point in the movie Captain Jack 'Sparra' (Depp) swings from the mast of one ship to another. The line of dialogue following is, ”Do you think he plans it all or just makes it up as he goes along?". He may as well have - and so might the rest of the cast in a film where, if they stood still long enough, they too would have been CGI'd to Hell - or World's End - whichever came first.

And having given up nearly three hours of my life, I fear the latter is quite possibly far worse.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Calling Time

Today, I saw "Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Hours: At The End of My Tether" - I mean - "Part 3: At World's End ". I am so CGI-d out I will have to consider overnight what the film was actually about before I can commit any words to screen tomorrow.

To round up a very 'being' weekend and to ease you gently into the post Bank Holiday working week, here is that little, plaster-dusted down poem, "Calling Time", as mentioned in this post. It is about obsessively trying to control time (but time is actually controlling you) and then being able to laugh at yourself regardless. I hope you like it.

As I get older, and the days become shorter
The weeks seem to fly by, months ain't what they oughtta.
No longer in bed, passing hours do I lie,
For fear of a year that flits past my heavy eye.

So, alert I must be, checking last night's long list
Of 'things to do', in case today, I should miss
The opportunity of a lifetime thus presenting itself
In the guise of necessity wrapped up in sheer wealth.

And tonight I will ponder my day so spry
I'll audit the calendar, check a year hasn't gone by
During the whisper of an eyelash, as you never do know
When a decade or a lifetime may surely go.
Lara Greenway 2007




Sunday, May 27, 2007

Breakfast With My Antagonist

Following on from yesterday's post, and the essence of "human beings doing", Good Dog reminded me of how little amount of time we, in general, dedicate to the most simple things in life. Simple but important things like sunrises and sunsets, the beautiful sweet aroma of roses and jasmine, the smell of grass after rainfall, the first genuine warmth from the sun after winter, the distant peal of a church bell, the silence created by snow fall.

Don't have a garden, park or nature reserve nearby? Stuck in the city? Try the mellow aroma of freshly ground coffee from your local coffee shop, a warm breeze that takes you by surprise as you turn a corner, the stale but tantilising waft from pub extractor fans, the warm, intricate mix of street smells of after a summer shower, planes slashing the blue sky far above the sky-scrapers.

The fundamental element of just 'being' and not 'doing' is allowing the senses to 'do' while you just 'be'. When I am writing I find I always start at a very 'base level' and include sensuous elements (that is, 'of the senses' as opposed to sensual, although they've been known to creep in now and again too!). Even if these don't make it to the first or final draft they are always there in my brain arena, hopefully enabling me to 'be' wholly part of the script/story and not just a creative bystander.

I often think a state of 'being' is entered when I start to write on a new project. Although I am mentally busy, I am not physically 'doing' much. I wine and dine my characters - the difference between dinner with your protagonist and then your antagonist is amazing, and not necessarily what you would think; kids characters I take to the zoo, the park or the Natural History Museum; sometimes I just 'observe' the entire screenplay character list (supporting artistes included) meeting in my local coffee shop. How do they interact - even the ones who never meet 'on paper'? What do they drink and eat? What are they wearing? How do they sit? What do they talk (or not) about? I guess in my case, this stems from my performance background but it's quite an interesting thing to try out as it tends to give your characters weight and vision in future drafts; more than anything, it gives you a firm grip on their history and backstory.

And all this because you were just 'being' instead of 'doing'. Amazing.

I just suddenly remembered my school motto was "Be Still And Know". I think they possibly had a point.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Human Beings Doing

We were having a rare old time today over at Lianne's place. One part of that discussion in particular, focused around people who are 'always doing rather than being' and is the basis of a favourite saying of mine, "Try to be a human being not a human doing". Essentially it means being busy, busy all the time is not necessarily the right thing - sometimes you just have to stop and 'be'.

This also ties in with a previous post of mine - just by 'being' and not 'doing', you can sometimes save yourself a lot of flailing arms and misspent energy because what is meant to be, is just that - meant to be.

In my recent poetry phase I scribbled a little ditty which sums up trying to control time - or was it time trying to control me? Not sure there. Once I have unearthed it (probably in folder filled with the last - yippee! - of the plaster dust) I will post it here.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Wet Whitsun

It looks like it's going to be a soggy old Whitsun bank holiday weekend, which is a shame as I was hoping to attend to little bits and pieces in the garden. Oh well. There you go - never make any plans for a bank holiday. Guess I'll just need to crack on with some writing instead...

I leave you with this quote to ponder in case it all gets too much :

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Sydney J. Harris

Mmmmm. How very apt. Have a great weekend whatever you are doing - or not doing.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Power of Three Alert

Actually, more like a Power of Three request.

Yep, 'tis that time. Red Pen has been really busy - but perhaps not busy enough - so I would really appreciate 'P of 3' volunteers please! A few lovely people have offered in the past but as I don't know their schedules I thought I'd just "chuck it out there".

The screenplay is a short (although at 15 pages, it's a 'borderline short') and it is one of my possibilities for entering into the BSSC.

Muchos gracias, in advance.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

What's Up With June?

Right, now I am severely miffed. The stage beyond the proverbial that broke the proverbial has now been reached.

Let me explain something: if you are arranging a really interesting class/course/masterclass/meeting/night out on the beers in London, please - I repeat, *PLEASE* - do not schedule it for the weekend of the 9th, 10th or even the 11th June. In fact, don't schedule any time between the 9th and 22nd June to be on the safe side. That would be fab. As you may or may not know I am due to give birth around that time and possibly won't be able to get away to listen to your dulcit tones. Got that?

If I hear of one more event happening on this particular aforementioned weekend, just like the Women Writer's Network info on Robin Kelly's fab blog, then I am going to come along regardless and watch your faces pale as I go into the final stages of labour. Sure you got it? Most excellent.

You have been warned.

A Googled Virgin?

Much like the lovely, Lucy, I was fascinated to find out I get quite a few interesting daily Google search referrals - in my case, from peeps wondering what is happening at our favourite Compagnie du Jour - Virgin Media.

A bit like one of those little miniature disclaimers at the bottom of emails, I have to state now that I do not work for Virgin Media, have absolutely nothing to do with the Company and am merely voicing my own personal opinions as a paying customer of theirs, oh, and if the contents of this post are not intended for you please return it to the owner immediately. Huh? Anyway...

Back in VergingMeeeeejaLand, sorry - Virgin Media Land - I would like to report a vast improvement in their customer service and efficiency levels, which, after years of torture in ntl:Hell, comes as a breath of fresh air. Ok, we still don't have our beloved Sky channels back [yet] but there is promise of a return and in the not too distant future.

There is another merger/takeover bid simmering at the moment (as reported here) which is down to the fact that many peeps think Virgin Media are prime swoop-worthy material having lost so many subscribers due to The Sky Fiasco - i.e. they'll go without a fight and for half the price.

In my humble opinion, if this does happen no-one will really be able to take any of them seriously anyway: I mean, how many Multi-Nationals does it take to keep a TV Channel?

But that is when the customer gains the upperhand.

Be still and patient my Skyless friends - the sweet slurp of success will be ours to taste again soon.

Failing that, call up Customer Services and have a whinge - see what you get chucked into your package for free... ;)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Yesterday, I was reminded of the story Richard Ashcroft's total loss of composer credits on The Verve's, 'Bitter Sweet Symphony'. That string-based loop was sampled from an orchestral rendition of The Stones' song, 'Last Foundation', and hence all royalties go to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. What a complete bummer; bittersweet indeed. (More about it here)

But hang on a darn minuette...what about all those late 80s, early 90s hip-hop tracks which sampled everything but the butter on my toast? Did they all get stung or did they just grope their groins, threaten in a BoyzindaHood type stylee and get the decks up and running again?

Imagine writing a brilliant song like that and then someone claims it's actually theirs? Imagine writing a massive, brilliant outline/show format and then some smart ass claims they thought of it first - oh, hang on, been there - but I now view it as a compliment without the payoff. Anyway, moving onwards, or rather backwards. Picture the scene if you will...

There is a movie being made of your life and some darn fine actors are playing you and yours. Answer the following:

What would be:
1) The closing credits theme tune?
2) The stand-out line from the movie? The one everyone quotes.

Trust me, this is a really interesting exercise - please share your thoughts amongst friends! The narcissistic amongst us will already have their answers - hell, I do. LOL ;)

Monday, May 21, 2007

BAFTA Television Awards - Part 3

Another sterling quote from last night's BAFTAs.

"All that matters is the script, the script, the script" Sita Williams, Exec Producer "The Street" - Winner of Drama Series, British Academy TV Awards 2007

This morning, I received an email from "A Friend" informing me that my previous post containing the BAFTA winners was ever so slightly anal as I probably had all the results up before BAFTA did.

And?

I like the awards ceremonies, y'see, and I find they are always worthwhile attending - not to mention the laughs to be had at the 'aftershow' parties! I normally do try and get to both the Film and TV BAFTAs but bailed on both occasions this year - last night's, because I couldn't find a pretty enough tent to swathe myself in. Hey ho, there's always next year, and if I am lucky I'll make one of them without baby puke down my frock.


That is, of course, if I ever manage to get into a nice outfit again - after 6,000 complaints, Mars have withdrawn their intention to use rennet in their chocolate and ice cream and so will remain vegetarian. I was really relying on their use of rennet to put me off eating their products thus helping me battle the post baby bits.


Ah, well, I have a little while before I need to think about renting a perma-space in the gym.



Sunday, May 20, 2007

BAFTA Television Awards - Part Deux

Well, quite a mixed bag this year, I thought, but well done to the Nominees and Winners all the same. I was a bit surprised 'Life on Mars' didn't manage to pick up more awards but it did win the public's vote and was up against stiff competition in all categories.

Special well done mention to Victoria Wood for her two awards for 'Housewife 49' (Best Actress & Single Drama) and Jim Broadbent (Best Actor) for his fab portrayal of Lord Longford in 'Longford'.

I am sure it'll be all over the place but here are all the runners, riders and winners:

Actor
JIM BROADBENT - Longford (Channel 4)
ANDY SERKIS - Longford (Channel 4)
MICHAEL SHEEN - Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa! (BBC Four)
JOHN SIMM - Life On Mars (BBC One)

Actress
ANNE-MARIE DUFF - The Virgin Queen (BBC One)
SAMANTHA MORTON - Longford (Channel 4)
RUTH WILSON - Jane Eyre (BBC One)
VICTORIA WOOD - Housewife 49 (ITV1)

ENTERTAINMENT PERFORMANCE
ANTHONY MCPARTLIN & DECLAN DONNELLY - Saturday Night Takeaway (ITV1)STEPHEN FRY - QI (BBC Two)

PAUL MERTON - Have I Got News For You (BBC One)
JONATHAN ROSS - Friday Night With Jonathan Ross (BBC One)

COMEDY PERFORMANCE
DAWN FRENCH - The Vicar Of Dibley (BBC One)

RICKY GERVAIS - Extras (BBC Two)
STEPHEN MERCHANT - Extras (BBC Two)
LIZ SMITH - The Royle Family: Queen Of Sheba (BBC One)

SINGLE DRAMA
HOUSEWIFE 49 - Victoria Wood, Piers Wenger, Gavin Millar, David Threlfall (ITV Productions/ITV1)

KENNETH WILLIAMS: FANTABULOSA! - Andy de Emmony, Ben Evans, Martyn Hesford (BBC Drama/BBC Four)
LONGFORD - Peter Morgan, Tom Hooper, Helen Flint, Andy Harries (Granada Productions for C4 in assoc. with HBO/C4)
THE ROAD TO GUANTANAMO - Michael Winterbottom, Mat Whitecross (Revolution Films/C4)

DRAMA SERIES
LIFE ON MARS - Production Team (Kudos Film & Television/BBC One)

SHAMELESS - Production Team (Company Pictures/C4)
SUGAR RUSH - Production Team (Shine Productions/C4)
THE STREET - Jimmy McGovern, Sita Williams, David Blair, Ken Horn (Granada Productions/BBC One)

DRAMA SERIAL
LOW WINTER SUN - Greg Brenman, Adrian Shergold, Simon Donald, Rhonda Smith (Tiger Aspect Productions/C4)

PRIME SUSPECT: THE FINAL ACT - Andrew Benson, Philip Martin, Frank Deasy, Andy Harries (ITV Productions/ITV1)
SEE NO EVIL: THE MOORS MURDERS - Lisa Gilchrist, Neil McKay, Jeff Pope, Chris Menaul (ITV Productions/ITV1)
THE VIRGIN QUEEN - Coky Giedroyc, Paula Milne, Paul Rutman (A BBC Drama/Power co-production/BBC One)

CONTINUING DRAMA
CASUALTY - Production Team (BBC/BBC One)

CORONATION STREET - Stephen Russell, Tim O'Mara, Steve Frost, Kieran Roberts (ITV Productions/ITV1)
EASTENDERS - Production Team (BBC Drama Production Studios/BBC One)
EMMERDALE - Keith Richardson, Kathleen Beedles, Lindsay Williams, Piotr Szkopiak (ITV Productions/ITV1)

FACTUAL SERIES
ROSS KEMP ON GANGS - Clive Tulloh, Amelia Hann, Ross Kemp (Tiger Aspect Productions/Sky One)

STEPHEN FRY - THE SECRET LIFE OF THE MANIC DEPRESSIVE - Production Team (IWC Media, part of the RDF Media Group/BBC Two)
TRIBE - James Smith, Steve Robinson, Bruce Parry, Sam Organ (BBC/BBC Two)
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? - Alex Graham, Lucy Carter (Wall To Wall/BBC Two)

SPECIALIST FACTUAL
MUNICH: MOSSAD'S REVENGE - Anthony Geffen, Tom Whitter, Peter Miller, Calum Walker (Atlantic Productions Ltd/C4)

NUREMBERG: GOERING'S LAST STAND - Peter Nicholson, Simon Berthon, Dan Korn, Piers Vellacott (3BM Television/C4)
PLANET EARTH - Alistair Fothergill, Mark Linfield (BBC/BBC One)
SIMON SCHAMA'S POWER OF ART - Clare Beavan, Simon Schama, Basil Comely, Mark Harrison (BBC London Arts/BBC Two)

SINGLE DOCUMENTARY
BREAKING UP WITH THE JONESES - Ursula Macfarlane, Saskia Wilson, Dave Nath, Gregor Lyon (betty/C4)

EVICTED - Brian Woods, Deborah Shipley, Jeremy Wales, Katy Sheppard (True Vision/BBC One)
9/11: THE FALLING MAN - Henry Singer, John Smithson, Sue Bourne, Julian Ware (Darlow Smithson Productions/C4)
RAIN IN MY HEART - Paul Watson (BBC/BBC Two)

FEATURES
THE APPRENTICE - Dan Adamson, Sanjay Singhal, Martyn Smith, Sir Alan Sugar (TalkbackThames/Mark Burnett Productions/BBC Two)

THE CHOIR - Jamie Isaacs, Ludo Graham, Drew Hill, Sam Grace (Twenty Twenty/BBC Two)
DRAGONS' DEN - Helen Bullough, Dominic Bird, Paul Mackay (BBC Entertainment/BBC Two) THE F WORD - Production Team (Optomen Television/C4)

SPORT
THE BOAT RACE - John Watts, Tony Pastor, John McKenna, Phil Heslop (ITV Sport/ITV1)

F1: HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX - JENSON BUTTON'S FIRST WIN - Neil Duncanson, Gerard Lane (North One Television/ITV1)
CRICKET ON FIVE - Jeff Foulser, Gary Franses, Dylan Jane, Diana Keen (Sunset and Vine Productions/Five)
WINTER OLYMPICS - BBC Sport Production Team (BBC Sport/BBC Two)

NEWS COVERAGE
BBC TEN O'CLOCK NEWS - TERRORISM PLOT AT HEATHROW - BBC Ten O'Clock News Team (BBC News/BBC One)

CHANNEL 4 NEWS - NEWS FROM IRAN - Jon Snow, Deborah Rayner, Ben Monro-Davies, Martin Collett (ITN/C4)
GRANADA REPORTS: MORECAMBE BAY - Production Team (Granada/ITV)
ITV EVENING NEWS - THE ISRAEL/LEBANON CRISIS - Julian Manyon, Mark Austin, Geoff Hill, Rob Bowles (ITN/ITV1)

INTERACTIVITY
DISPATCHES - WAR TORN: STORIES OF SEPARATION - David Modell, Cassian Harrison, Oliver Doward (Dispatches/Channel4.com)

MELTDOWN AND THE BIG CLIMATE CHANGE EXPERIMENT - Frances McNamara, Jonathan Renouf, Paul Bradshaw, Tolu Aina (Supporting BBC Four)
THE SECRET POLICEMAN'S BALL - Clive Tulloh, Lisle Turner, Mike Agnew, Adil Abrar (Tiger Aspect Productions/4Laughs/C4)
TERRY PRATCHETT'S HOGFATHER - Aidan Conway, Giles Pooley, Rod Brown, Ian Sharples (Mob Film Company/Sky One Networked Media)

INTERNATIONAL
ENTOURAGE - Doug Ellin, Mark Wahlberg, Steve Levinson (HBO/ITV2)

HOUSE - David Shore (Heal and Toe Films/Shore Z Productions/Bad Hat Harry Productions in assoc. with NBC Universal Television Studio/Five)
LOST - JJ Abrams, Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof, Jack Bender (Buena Vista International Television/Sky One)
MY NAME IS EARL - Greg Garcia, Marc Buckland, Bobby Bowman (Twentieth Century Fox/C4)

ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMME
DANCING ON ICE - Production Team (ITV Productions/ITV1)

DERREN BROWN: THE HEIST - Derren Brown, Andy Nyman, Simon Mills, Ben Caron (Objective Productions/C4)
HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA? - Production Team (BBC Entertainment/BBC One)
THE X FACTOR - Richard Holloway, Claire Horton, Andrew Llinares, Siobhan Greene (TalkbackThames in association with SYCO TV/ITV1)

SITUATION COMEDY
GREEN WING - Victoria Pile, Dominic Brigstocke, Tristram Shapeero, Robert Harley (TalkbackThames/C4)

THE IT CROWD - Ash Atalla, Graham Linehan, Derrin Schlesinger, Ben Fuller (TalkbackThames/C4)
PULLING - Sharon Horgan, Dennis Kelly, Phil Bowker, Tristram Shapeero (Silver River/BBC Three)
THE ROYLE FAMILY: QUEEN OF SHEBA - Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash, John Rushton, Phil Mealey (Granada Productions/BBC One)

COMEDY PROGRAMME
THE CATHERINE TATE SHOW - Gordon Anderson, Aschlin Ditta, Geoffrey Perkins, Catherine Tate (Tiger Aspect Productions/BBC Two)

LITTLE BRITAIN ABROAD - Matt Lucas, David Walliams, Matt Lipsey, Geoff Posner (BBC Comedy/Little Britain Productions/BBC One)
LITTLE MISS JOCELYN - Gary Reich, Jemma Rodgers, Gareth Carrivick, Jocelyn Jee Esien (Brown Eyed Boy Productions in assoc. with Pozzitive Television/BBC Three)
THAT MITCHELL & WEBB LOOK - David Kerr, Gareth Edwards, Robert Webb, David Mitchell (BBC Comedy/BBC Two)

PIONEER AUDIENCE AWARD
CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER
DRAGONS' DEN
LIFE ON MARS
PLANET EARTH
THE ROYLE FAMILY: QUEEN OF SHEBA
THE VICAR OF DIBLEY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL


THE ACADEMY FELLOWSHIP - RICHARD CURTIS
THE SPECIAL AWARD in honour of Alan Clarke - ANDY HARRIES

Congratulations to all! May your hangovers be large ones in the morning.

BAFTA Television Awards - Part 1


"Love your writers as much as your partners, children and pets. All hail to those who face the blank page every day." Andy Harries, British Academy TV Awards, 2007.

All hail to Andy Harries - congratulations and excuse me if they're not your exact words!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Oh, where to go, what to do...

"I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by" Douglas Adams.

For those of you London-tied and not able to make "The Long Distance Screen Writer" course (Edinburgh, 9th June) run by the brilliant Adrian Mead, or are not attending Christopher Vogler's "The Writer's Journey" (9th & 10th June, run by Raindance), those nice folks at Living Spirit (Ealing Studios) are running a one day masterclass entitled "Making it in Hollywood" (10th June) aimed at directors, producers and writers. They are also chucking in a FREE copy of "The Guerilla Film Makers Hollywood Handbook" (worth £30) if you book and pay by this Sunday (20th).

If you aren't sure about this course or if you are just curious, Living Spirit are sending a free pdf interview with British Producer Jeremy Bolt to those who email a request to office*at*livingspirit*dot*com

If, like me you can't make any of these courses because...
a) they are all taking place on the same weekend, and
b) one of those days just happens to be the day on which your baby is due

...then just sulk.

Me and Red Pen are off to do some serious damage in shortscriptland. Have a great weekend all.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Where's the Pause Button?

"Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels." Linda Ellerbee

Too many demands on my time, not enough hours in the day and and no energy to write into the wee small hours. That's the week so far.

I have been desperately trying to turn round the most recent short for submission to the BSSC, but it managed to take on a life of it's own whilst I was contemplating my belly button still being an 'innie', and is now running at 18 pages. Too long for a short? Not sure - it's borderline. Red Pen needs to come out to play, I think. I also completed two more outlines over the weekend/this week so far, but I have put them away for now as I need them to fester a bit. I may pop them and Red Pen into my hospital bag so Red Pen can do it's most damning whilst I'm in labour. Perhaps not.

Talking of labour, I am increasingly having strange pains here and there and apparently the head is 3/5ths engaged - what that really means with regard to timescale, is another thing. All I know is, I feel as though I am really working against the clock. A clock that will permanently scream, cry, want feeding, help and constant attention. And that'll just be The Glenster ;0)

So for now, instead of blogging I am going to get Red Pen and do some short shortening - until next time, here's a freebie: Broadcast is re-launching itself with a new look and content, and from 17th May to 3oth May the website will be free to access.

(P. S. Yippee for Eastenders. Le Mitchell is going to be able do something other than dunk Beale's head soon! I am totally beside myself.)

Friday, May 11, 2007

Ground Control to Major Tom...

Definitely another planet. And that's where it deserves to stay. Far, far away, in another Universe. It really has been one of those weeks, and that's as much as I'm saying. End of.

On a brighter note, I've managed to get loads of reading/notes done (really sorry for those who had to wait a bit), drafted and then re-drafted the aforementioned short AND we've gone and got all HD on ourselves this week too. After [far too] many months' deliberation over which LCD or plasma TV to buy, we eventually bit the bullet and bought one. It's fab. The only problem is it seems so big that last night I thought Phil Mitchell was going to submerge my head in Ian Beale's greasy washing up bowl too. (And when are they going to think of another less public school prank for Le Mitchell to play?)

We also had a V+ box installed today and have access to the BBC HD preview channel to ogle over - I was really not sold on the 'vast' difference between 'normal' digital transmission and HD - but now I'm a convert. Just watched a couple of minutes of BBC's "Bleak House" which is available to watch as HD. As the episode starts in the court room you can virtually make out the writing on scrolls/papers 20 foot below the camera on crane. Programme & film makers are going to have to watch out what they randomly pick up and use quickly for props if HD is really that clear! No wonder the airbrushed actors of the US were going mad when HD came out - all those pores and imperfections. Tsk tsk.

Yuk, now just think what we're going to espy when Le Mitchell shoves Beale's head down the Queen Vic bogs in the future. On that note, I'm off to ogle my TV and check out the curry menu for later.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Live From Mars

I'm convinced.

This morning I woke up to find I had crossed into my dual universe. I have made a quantum leap and didn't even try very hard. Everyone looks the same, hell, they even sound the same, but other than The Glenster and Millie The Cat (who seem to have remained normal), some strange shift has occurred.

No mail was delivered this morning. This was the first indication that all was not what it seemed. We always get mail - even if it is just one of those useless bundles of 'Revolutionary Home Helpers TM' crap that Postpeople get paid extra to indirectly stuff into our recycling boxes. But never mind, I thought, and off we went to the hospital for 09:30 for my 'final' scan and appointment with The Consultant. We arrived at the antenatal dept like so many times before, but this time I was accosted for a sample. Now, I have never had to provide one before (other than for my normal midwife visits) so I was a little confused. The midwife/nurse person slammed against her seat, totally aghast, thrusted an empty sample bottle into my hand and flicked me towards the door and toilets. There's nothing like peeing on demand.

Although I was the second appointment of the day, I counted 4 other couples going in to see The Consultant in front of me. Maybe I was doing one of my invisibility tricks? The Consultant eventually saw me at 11:00. We did all the niceties, but The Consultant seemed a little different to normal, almost a shell of his usual self; I had my blood pressure checked (another thing that has never happened on a 'Consultant visit'), and then up on the couch for the final scan. The measurements still indicated a larger than average baby with ridiculously long legs, and the CCAM on the baby's lung, although not regressed totally, was still pretty small. Good stuff.

Then the Seven Dimensional Einsteinian Hyperspherical Universe nodded it's head: did I want to pick a date for induction now, or wait for my next appointment with The Consultant? Exsqueeze me? Next appointment - that's when I'm due, surely? Induction? Possible Caesarean? WTF? Have I been living on another planet for the last 35+ weeks? Obviously.

The induction is mainly for the safety of the baby, which I can go with, but as I have always reckoned I'll be early anyway, I have never considered it. Now I am determined to have this baby early.

I'm off to do some research into ways of encouraging the little blighter out before the NHS Army wage 'The War Of The Bump' on me. If anyone knows any old wives tales', helpful tips, safe ways of ensuring an early birth (all after 37 weeks), please feel free to comment below.

I can't believe it's only lunchtime.




Tuesday, May 08, 2007

More Procrastination Needed?

Obviously, far more time-wasting games are required in this cyber world of writing.

Click on this link for another five or so minutes well spent.

WARNING: this game is addictive and no responsibility is taken for unfinished drafts, half written outlines, confused character breakdowns or gelatinous log-lines.

Monday, May 07, 2007

It's Bank Holl-eee-day

Only click on this link if you wish to procrastinate more than normal. You have been warned.

A Very Annoying Little Game

Friday, May 04, 2007

Odds & Sods

"The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes" Agatha Christie

A couple of quickies today...

Something I heard about a fair old while ago (and therefore many people may already know about it!), has hit the press in the form of "Broadcast".

I am glad to report the greenlit formation of Fremantle Media's international drama development unit to develop UK concepts for returning drama series. A team of 'UK's most talented scriptwriters', to be based in London, will be recruited by Ann Harris (herself recruited by Fremantle from Sony Pictures Television Int) to start working on various drama projects.

Fantastic news - more companies should be considering this move.

If you do happen to come by a copy of today's "Broadcast" there is an interesting article about Writers and their working spaces; how we are able to choose where to do our jobs and how to go about them. Tony Grounds ("Gone to the Dogs", "All in the Game", "A Class Apart") is quoted as saying he works in the smallest cell-like room in his house and then sadly says "...but then being a writer is a life sentence." :(

So, here's a thought: given the choice of anywhere (but within reason!) WHERE would you choose to write? Please take into account Broadband is probably not widely available on the silky, white beaches of Mauritius :0)



Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Happy May Day!

Yipee! It's the 1st of May - one of my most favourite days in the year. Hell, it even features heavily in my 'pet' screenplay. (As opposed to featuring heavily in my pet, Screenplay ;)

Call it the Celt in me, but there's something so special about May Day, or Beltane as it was know in the pre-Christian [Celtic] epoch. Beltane marks the start of the pastoral Summer season and is one of the cross-quarter days in the Celtic calendar - these are days that signal the beginning of a new season and are half way between an equinox and a solstice. Special days.

There is always so much raw, unchannelled energy around on May 1st - a negative example of which was the May Day Riots of 2000 in London, Glasgow, Doncaster & Edinburgh. Nicer examples are the many festivals held around the UK over the May Bank Holiday weekend celebrating with Morris dancers, maypole dancers, music, good company, food and laughter.

This year, there is also a Full Moon on May 2nd, so in addition to the energy of May Day itself, we will have the lunar influence on the emotions with the touch of insanity and insomnia it sometimes brings.

I may be very wrong, but interesting days ahead. If there was ever a week to have/not to have local elections (dependant on which 'side' you're on), I reckon this is it.

So, here are my instructions for today:

Take a break - in fact take a whole lunch break - stand outside in the sun, shut your eyes and breathe in. A. Big. Deep. Breath. Feel the energy, and the promise of splendid things to come.